Mendime ... reflektime

[glaukus 001]

THINGS THAT BOTHER ME:


When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

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People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

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When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat

it too". F*** off. What good is a damn cake you can't eat? What,

should I eat someone else's cake instead?

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When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
Who and where are they?

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When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No

dicknose, I paid $8.50 to come to the theatre and stare at that
thing over there.
What did you come here for?

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People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

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People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know
where my watch is, pal. Where do you keep yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

[glaukus 001]

Citate nga njerez te shquar



"SMOKING KILLS. AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE." - Brooke Shields


"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"


"THE POLICE ARE NOT HERE TO CREATE DISORDER. THEY'RE HERE TO PRESERVE DISORDER."
- Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention


"IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE REDWOOD TREE, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL."
- Forestry expert Ronald Reagan


"TRADITIONALLY, MOST OF AUSTRALIA'S IMPORTS COME FROM
OVERSEAS."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery


"IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE HERE IN THE GREAT STATE OF CHICAGO."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle


"THE STREETS ARE SAFE IN PHILADELPHIA. IT'S ONLY THE PEOPLE
THAT MAKE THEM UNSAFE."
- Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo


"THE INTERNET IS A GREAT WAY TO GET ON THE NET." (hmmmmm)
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole


"IT IS BAD LUCK TO BE SUPERSTITIOUS."
- Andrew Mathis


"IT'S LIKE AN ALCATRAZ AROUND MY NECK."
- Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces


"I WAS RECENTLY ON A TOUR OF LATIN AMERICA, AND THE ONLY
REGRET I HAVE WAS THAT I DIDN'T STUDY LATIN HARDER IN SCHOOL SO I COULD CONVERSE WITH THOSE PEOPLE."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle


"THEY'RE MULTIPURPOSE. NOT ONLY DO THEY PUT THE CLIPS ON,
BUT THEY TAKE THEM OFF."
- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers


"WE'RE GOING TO TURN THIS TEAM AROUND 360 DEGREES."
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks


"I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SOME REPORTERS PAWING THROUGH OUR PAPERS. WE ARE THE PRESIDENT."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents


"WHEN MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE THROWN OUT OF WORK,
UNEMPLOYMENT RESULTS."
- Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge


"CHINA IS A BIG COUNTRY, INHABITED BY MANY CHINESE."
- Former French President Charles de Gaulle


"THAT LOWDOWN SCOUNDREL DESERVES TO BE KICKED TO DEATH BY A JACKASS AND I'M JUST THE ONE TO DO IT."
- A congressional candidate in Texas


"THINGS ARE MORE LIKE THEY ARE NOW THAN THEY EVER WERE
BEFORE."
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower


"A BILLION HERE, A BILLION THERE-SOONER OR LATER IT ADDS UP TO REAL MONEY."
- Everett Dirksen


"I DON'T FEEL WE DID WRONG IN TAKING THIS GREAT COUNTRY AWAY FROM THEM. THERE WERE GREAT NUMBERS OF PEOPLE WHO NEEDED NEW LAND, AND THE INDIANS WERE SELFISHLY TRYING TO KEEP IT FOR THEMSELVES."
- John Wayne


"HALF THIS GAME IS NINETY PERCENT MENTAL."
-Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark


"IT ISN'T POLLUTION THAT'S HARMING THE ENVIRONMENT. IT'S THE IMPURITIES IN OUR AIR AND WATER THAT ARE DOING IT."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle


"WITHOUT CENSORSHIP, THINGS CAN GET TERRIBLY CONFUSED IN THE PUBLIC MIND."
- General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam


"I LOVE CALIFORNIA. I PRACTICALLY GREW UP IN PHOENIX."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

[glaukus 001]

Pershkrimi i disa personave qe ju mund te njihni...


1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

3. A room temperature IQ.

4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them
together.

5. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.

6. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

7. Bright as Alaska in December.

8. During evolution, his ancestors were in the control group.

9. Fell out of the family tree.

10. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

12. He's so dense, the light bends around him.

13. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

14. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

15. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled .

16. Takes him an hour-and-a-half to watch "60 Minutes".

17. One burger short of a happy meal.

[glaukus 001]

.....Mesime nga jeta......


1. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

2. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

3. The early bird gets the worm -- but the second mouse gets the cheese.

4. Quantum Mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.

5. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

6. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

7. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

8. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

something.

9. Bacteria -- they're the only culture some people have.

10. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

11. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

12. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

13. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

14. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

15. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

16. Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding.

17. Shin: nature's foolproof method for finding furniture in the dark.

18. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

19. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

20. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

21. "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

23. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

24. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

25. I love defenseless animals -- especially in a good gravy.

26. If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

27. If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

28. Mind Like A Steel tra'p -- Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

29. Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

30. Give a man a free hand, and he'll run it all over you.

31. If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

32. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

33. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

34. Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk!?

35. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

36. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

37. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

38. For Sale: Parachute, used only once, never opened. Small stain.

39. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

40. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

[glaukus 001]

mEnDiMe


Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
cause kids.

It's not the pace of life that concerns me; it's the sudden stop
at the end.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. (He hates that.)

Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?


If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat
belt.

The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.