se nuk e gjej ku eshte ajo tema qe ka qene per humor ne gjuhe te huaj ...
An elderly man walks into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a really young girl for the night. The old steamer gives him a puzzled look and asks the fellow how old he is. "Why," the man says, "I'm 98 years old." "Ninety-eight!" the madam exclaims. "Don't you realise you've had it?" "Oh," he says, "how much do I owe you, then?"
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Drunk driving
While walking his beat, a policeman is bemused to find a young man, clearly drunk, staggering about with a key in his hand.
‘They’ve stolen my car,’ the drunk shouts. ‘It was right here earlier on the end of this key.’
‘More importantly, sir,’ says the policeman. ‘Do you know your penis is hanging out?’
‘Oh my God,’ wails the drunk. ‘They’ve got my girlfriend as well.’
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Caught short
Two dwarfs have just won the Lottery, so they go out and hire two prostitutes and two hotel rooms. The first dwarf tries desperately all night to get an erection, but all he can hear from the next room is, ‘One, two, three, huh!’ This goes on all night.
The next morning, the second dwarf asks, ‘So, how did it go?’
The first dwarf replies, ‘Shit, I couldn’t get an erection. How was your night?’
The second dwarf turns round and replies, ‘Even worse, I couldn’t even get on the bed.’
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Hard to believe
A elderly gentleman shuffles into a drug store and asks for Viagra. ‘That's no problem,’ says the pharmacist. ‘How many do you want?’ ‘Just a few, maybe four,’ says the pensioner. ‘But could you cut them into four pieces?’ ‘That won't do you much good,’ replies the pharmacist. The customer looks at him and sighs. ‘I’m 83 years old – I'm not interested in sex anymore,’ he says. ‘I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my shoes.’
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Radical surgery
When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted – as was his wife. But after several weeks – when his spam javelin had grown to nearly 20 inches – Ralph became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be helped through corrective surgery.
‘How long will Ralph be on crutches?’ the wife asked anxiously.
‘Crutches? Why would he need crutches?’ responded the surprised doctor.
‘Well,’ said the wife coldly, ‘You are planning to lengthen his legs, aren't you?’
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Good reception
A woman rushes into the foyer of a large hotel and sprints up to the reception desk. Seeing that the only member of staff is talking on the phone, she hammers on the bell for service. The receptionist slowly puts down the phone.
‘Yes?’ he says, wearily.
‘Excuse me,’ says the woman, ‘But I’m in a frightful hurry. Could you check me out, please?’
The clerk stares at her for a second and looks her up and down. ‘Not bad,’ he smiles. ‘Not bad at all.’
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