Skica humoristike....nga twist

[twist]

A Bad Day in Hell

One day, Peter dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with Satan.

Satan: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers. We drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Satan: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead.
Guy: No kidding!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table.
Guy: Hmmm, I never played pai gow before...
Satan: Well now you can. You like to watch porn?
Guy: Yes, I love porn. You don't mean...
Satan: That's right! Thursday is porn day. Thousands of porn movies, magazines, and strippers!!
Guy: yeah! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: Uh, no. Satan: Too Bad. You're gonna hate Fridays.

[twist]

A man approached a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "I've lost my wife here. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?" said the women.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

[twist]

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet God and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," God says, "Go right ahead". "OK," the man says.

"Why did you make women so pretty?"

God says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", God replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

God says, "So they would love you!"

[twist]

On the last day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.


Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.


"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?" "No," said the little boy... "I give up," she said.

"What is it?"


The boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

[twist]

A lawyer was getting out of his BMW when a car came speeding along and ripped the door off the car. When the police arrived the man was jumping
up and down and screaming about his car door being damaged.

The officer gets out and says, "You lawyers are so materialistic, you are so mad about the car being damaged that you didn't even notice that
your arm has been ripped off too".

The lawyer looks down at his arm and says, "Oh my God! Where's my Rolex?"

[twist]

In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart, which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.

The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert."

The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

[twist]

A Blonde on a Desert Island

Three friends; a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp.

They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

[twist]

A Blonde's Death in the Family

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

[GoDDeSS]

me shkrive o twisti...se dija un qe ishe kaq funny ti.

[korcaprincess]

twist VERY NICE JOB me ke shkrire fare, shume humor i zgjedhur