Me ne fund kthehet ne komedi Bill Maher i cili eshte #1 ne komedi per politike dhe jeten sociale.
Ka filluar sezoni i ri Real Time with Bill Maher tek HBO, qe trasmetoet cdo te Premte ne oren 11:00 pm (Eastern Time), te Premten qe vjen 2 Shtator eshte seria e 3 e sezonit te ri.
Ne qoftese keni HBO shifeni vetem nje here dhe do ta pelqeni...Ata qe e njofin dhe e shofin ket program shkruani cfare mendoni dhe cfare ju pelqen me shume.
New Rules....
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
Episode 56
Premiering August 19, 2005
Guests: Paul Hackett, Asa Hutchinson, Kellyanne Conway and Chris Rock.
On Cindy Sheehan
"Here's a lady who's lost her son in Iraq, and I think she's entitled to voice her opinion on this war. And I think she's entitled to do it in just about any civil manner that she wants to. And if that's camping out in front of George Bush while he's on vacation, that's okay by me. And I think anybody who takes potshots at her is missing the point." Paul Hackett
On Bush
"You called Bush a chicken-hawk." Bill Maher
"Meant it. Stand by it. Say it again. And I don't know why that's such a big excitement. I mean, the facts are the facts." Paul Hackett
On Iraq
"Are there Iraqi guys who are willing to stand up to this insurgency? Because obviously the insurgents are the zealots. They're the guys who are willing to do anything to win. It takes a lot to stand up to that. Are there Iraqi patriots? Do they have their John Adam's and their George Washington's over there who are going to do that?" Bill Maher
"But you have been reading about what's going on with the writing of the constitution, and the fact that women may be taking a giant step backward in Iraq, because the theocrats may very well be taking over. For example, in the southern city of Basrah, I read that the police department is really just... the religious belief. Like in Saudi Arabia. They've just been enforcing the Shiite mentality, which is that, you know, any woman who wears makeup gets her head cut off. Women are not advancing in Iraq." Bill Maher
"It took our country resistance against a theocrats, many times, when we were developing our own constitution. Our constitution was not written and ratified overnight. We have to be patient with these things. You don't want it written on a piece of toilet paper. It's going to take some time. It's an effort." Kellyanne Conway
"Border security is important. But whenever you look at what's happened in Iraq today, in the interim government, women had a major role in the interim government. They continue to do so, they're part of the national assembly. They didn't have those prerogatives previously. We don't know what's going to come out in the constitution, they're going through a struggling process. And I think it's a little bit early to pre-judge what's going to happen in that." Asa Hutchinson
On Kerry
"He did, Bill. He voted against the 87 billion, and that was part of the package. He voted for the war, but he wanted them to be naked running through the mountains, I guess. Because then he voted against the body armor." Kellyanne Conway
On Racial Profiling
"I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow. But the truth is, now they don't. I mean, the people who are trying to get us are young Muslim men, period." Bill Maher
On Activist Judges
"The problem is, we do not want the judges doing things like abolishing the Pledge of Allegiance, changing the definition of marriage, throwing the Boy Scouts out of the public schools. And what we think is that congress should pass a law, taking away from the federal courts, jurisdiction over those areas where we don't trust them. And those are three good areas where we simply do not trust them." Phyllis Schlafly
"But aren't judges supposed to be unelected and unaccountable? Isn't the constitution designed so that one of our branches of government is unaccountable to the public? Wasn't one of the things that the founders feared the most, that the public would have too much say?" Bill Maher
"If we overturn Roe v. Wade, won't there be more back alley abortions, again? I mean, how many kids can Angelina Jolie adopt?" Bill Maher
On Bush's Vacation
"I think the more he's away, the less bad he can do." Chris Rock
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
Episode 57
Premiering August 26, 2005
Guests: Cindy Sheehan, Gov. Mike Huckabee, Dan Savage, Eve Ensler and Kinky Friedman.
On Camp Casey
"Bill, this isn't for me. It's in honor of our children who have already been killed. But there's millions of people in harm's way in Iraq. And we need to get our military out of there. We need to secure the country. And, you know, I was only the spark that started off this fire of the peace movement. And if I wanted to call it off today, I couldn't even do it. It's just got a momentum and a life of its own. It's organic and it's living. And like I said earlier, we are going to stop this war." Cindy Sheehan
"Nobody likes this war. Nobody thinks it's a wonderful thing. But let's be real clear that I think we don't want to make decisions about foreign policy, national policy and the security of a country simply based on the grief of a mother." Gov. Mike Huckabee
"What the Republican right slime machine refuses to recognize is, Cindy Sheehan, as an American citizen, has an absolute right to petition her government for redress of grievances, and ask George Bush a goddamn question. He's not the Pope. He's not God. He's not the king. He's the president, and he should be asked tough questions." Dan Savage
On Gay Marriage
"If a couple splits up, a gay couple, the same rules apply as they would to heterosexual couples, which is kind of big, because I'm sure you would say this is another 'blue state ruling from activist judges that normalizes the gay lifestyle,' and so forth. But study after study does show that the children of gay couples are no different, no less stable, no less normal than any other couple. And when you look at reality TV and you see Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, and you see the Osbournes, you know, I just think if I was a kid, I'd rather grow up with Rosie O'Donnell than Bobby Brown." Bill Maher
"I have a seven-year-old adopted son with my partner of ten - almost 11 - years. If I were to drop dead tomorrow, most of the property is mine, my partner would inherit very little of it because of the tax laws that disfavor him because he's not my legal spouse. And he would be impoverished, and also raising this child and the next one that we're adopting. So if you believe in protecting children, I think you should be for gay marriage." Dan Savage
On Health
"Don't you think, though, we need to be focused more on health than appearance? And I think that sometimes Americans have become obsessed with being skinny rather than really being concerned about being healthy. And being healthy will mean that you're not overweight." Gov. Mike Huckabee
"I interviewed women who would say that the most important thing in their life was losing weight. They weren't thinking about the eradication of reproductive rights; they weren't thinking about violence against women; they weren't thinking about health; they weren't thinking about the war." Eve Ensler
On Bush's Vacation
"If you don't know who Karen Hughes is, she's the longtime advisor to President Bush, and she is the person now who is going to take on the job of Propaganda Czar to the Arab world. And when I heard that, I said, 'Who better than Dallas-based soccer mom Karen Hughes! Who are the Muslims going to listen to more than someone like her? Who has more feel in their bones for how Muslim people think? Does Bush know more than three people?" Bill Maher
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
August 19, 2005
MAHER: Okay. It is time for New Rules everybody.
ROCK: We made it to the rules!
MAHER: We made it to the rules. We didn't run out of gas. We made it to the rules.
New Rule: Angelina Jolie has to put the little Asian kid down. Is it a child or just something to hide a tattoo? You know, Paris Hilton loves her little rat dog, but once in a while even she just shoves it in her purse.
ROCK: The kid and the dog?
MAHER: Yeah, that was too close.
ROCK: That's a big kid, man.
MAHER: New Rule: Stop blaming the summer box office slump on DVDs and video games, and demographics. The summer box office was down because no one knows who the hell Ewan McGregor is. You know how you can tell you're not a movie star? When people would rather watch a penguin.
ROCK: Oh!
MAHER: That's old. Silly, huh?
ROCK: "Train Spottin'", man. "Train Spottin'", man.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
ROCK: Hey, hey. Hey... Hey!
MAHER: What?
ROCK: Let's leave Howard alone.
MAHER: No. New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: Celebrities must stop using their TV shows to hawk their other projects. A point I should have made in my book, New Rules. Polite musings from a timid observer. Available in bookstores everywhere, and on amazon.com. Itunesaudible.com and Costco. Audio tape from Phoenix. Audio void where prohibited by law.
And finally New Rule: You don't have to teach both sides of a debate, if one side is a load of crap.
Now, President Bush recently suggested that public schools should teach intelligent design, alongside the theory of evolution. Because, after all, evolution is quote, "just a theory." Then the President renewed his vow to drive the terrorists straight over the edge of the earth.
Now, here is what I don't get. President Bush is a brilliant scientist. He's the man who proved you can mix two parts booze with one part cocaine, and still fly a jet fighter. And yet... yet he just can't seem to accept that we descended from apes.
It just seems pathetic to be so insecure about your biological superiority, to a group of feces-flinging, rouge-buttocked monkeys, that you have to make up fairy tales. Like we came from Adam and Eve, and then cover stories for Adam and Eve like, intelligent design. Yeah, leaving the Earth in the hands of two naked teenagers. That's a real intelligent design.
I'm sorry, folks, but it may very well may be that life is just a series of random events. And that there is no... master plan. But enough about Iraq. Let me instead restate my thesis. There aren't necessarily two sides to every issue. If there were, the Republicans would have an opposition party.
And an opposition party would point out that even though there's a debate, in schools, and government, about this, there is no debate among scientists. Evolution... is supported by the entire scientific community. Intelligent design is supported by guys online to see "The Dukes of Hazzard."
And the reason there is no real debate, is that intelligent design isn't real science. It's the equivalent of saying that the thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, because it's a god. It's so willfully ignorant you might as well worship the U.S. Mail. It came again! Praise, Jesus!
No, stupidity isn't a form of knowing things. Thunder is high pressure air meeting low pressure air. It's not God bowling. Babies come from storks is not a competing school of thought... in medical school. We shouldn't teach both. The media shouldn't equate both. If Thomas Jefferson...
If Thomas Jefferson knew we were blurring the line this much between church and state, he would turn over in his slave. Now as for me, I believe in evolution and intelligent design. I think God designed us in his image, but I also think God is a monkey! God bless you and goodnight!
All right, that's our show. I want to thank Chris Rock, Kellyanne Conway, Asa Hutchinson, Phyllis Schlafly and Mr. Paul Hackett. Thank you very much, folks. See you next week.
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
August 26, 2005
It's time to go to New Rules, everybody! New Rules!
All right. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: Oil companies must stop with the advertisements implying they're friends of the environment. "At ExxonMobil, we care about a thriving wildlife." Please, the only thing an oil executive has in common with a seagull is that they would both steal French fries from a baby.
And speaking of babies, New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't care in the first place.
New Rule: Stop showing me pictures of celebrities I used to think were hot without their makeup on. If Tara Reid wanted us to see what she looks like first thing in the morning, she'd pass out face up.
And finally, New Rule: Not to burst your bubble, but all bubbles burst! I don't want to say real estate is overpriced these days, but I had a refrigerator delivered this morning, and a homeless guy offered me three million for the box! Now, what is so distressing about this situation is that we just went through a bubble-bursting trauma with the dot-com crash. And here we are just five years later with real estate prices that could aptly be compared to Courtney Love: irrationally high and about to collapse.
You know, it's funny, one argument that had always been leveled against marijuana use was that it supposedly affected your short-term memory. You know, it's funny, one argument that had always been leveled against marijuana use was that it supposedly affected your short-term memory. Well, whatever it is--the point is, Americans can no longer remember even recent history. Detroit has completely forgotten the lesson of the '70s, which was, when an oil crisis looms, stop making Godzilla-mobiles.
In Iraq, George Bush totally forgot the lesson of Vietnam: "Call Dad!" And yet, to be fair, it's not in the red states where this market insanity is most acute. It's among the supposedly-savvy coastal elites, where buyers are dumping trillions into mortgages they can't afford, proving again just how much people will pay to not live in Kansas!
No, folks, it is really out of control here in California. One property in San Diego sold five times in one day, with the price going up and up and up until it was just a picture of Donald Trump laughing.
But it won't be funny when the bubble bursts and people start going bankrupt, taking banks down with them, and then the markets and then the dollar, causing mass rebellion against the government. At which point the Republicans will run an election based on renaming Amtrak the "Jesus Choo-Choo." And they'll win it!
And the whole thing will fester to the point where our economic Plan B is to live in caves and barter. Because if there's one thing that Republicans, schooled in the ways of Wall Street, have taught us, it is this: don't spend money you don't have; spend money other people don't have.
Luckily for me, all my money is tied up in Google, sunscreen and guns! Thank you very much. You've been a great audience.
I want to thank my guests, Governor Mike Huckabee, Eve Ensler, Dan Savage, Kinky Friedman and Cindy Sheehan. Thank you, folks. See you next week.
Ky Bill Maher, dhelper eshte... shume i zgjuar, drejtues emisioni i shkelqyer, sprijė.
Me pare e ndiqja vazhdimisht emisionin Politically Incorrect te tij, derisa mbaroi. Tani nuk ja kap dot keto ne HBO, i eshte rritur piaca dhe Billit. lol
Megjithate tani qe ndodhi kjo puna e September 11 dhe lufta ne Irak, Bill Maher si cifut qe eshte ka opinionet e veta, te cilat per te thene me te pakten, s'besoj se jane gjithmone te zhveshura nga cdo kendveshtrim mese personal nga ana e tij.
Por sidoqofte shume here te tjera eshte sa i mprehte aq edhe argetues me batutat e veta. Shume i kendshem per ta degjuar.
In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for that's how heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Videot per New Rules mund ti gjeni ne internet falas tek : http://www.safesearching.com/billmaher/media/
Aty gjendet rreth 22 video. Shikim te kendshem
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
Episode 58
Premiering September 2, 2005
Guests: Anderson Cooper, Stephen Schneider, Michael Eric Dyson, Bradley Whitford, Marry Frances Berry, Fareed Zakaria
On Hurricane Katrina
"And you know, it goes much deeper than frustration. This cuts to the core. And people want answers, and they're not hearing answers to very basic questions about, you know, was enough done ahead of the storm, and is enough being done right now. And I'm not hearing that answers. I don't think anyone else is." Anderson Cooper
"All these politicians all this week are saying, 'Well, you know what? This is not the time to point fingers; this is not the time to, you know, quibble about things.' Well, you know what? When is the time, because I'm happy to write it down in my engagement book. And make an appointment, because, to me, the time is now, when the world is watching." Anderson Cooper
" Why aren't they dropping with parachutes, medicines and food, as I've seen them do in other countries, and I've seen them do it. And finally, today, because Bush goes there, they start handing out some food and stuff to people so that they won't scream and yell at him while he's there." Marry Frances Berry
"That's all they know how to do, is public relations. I'm sure Bush is sitting around today, going, 'I was hugging Negroes all day long. What do you want from me?'" Bill Maher
"[Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff] said, 'The critical thing was to get people out there before this disaster. Some people chose not to obey that order. That was a mistake on their part.' And this is what I call 'unintentional racism.' Because this guy - that's the whole thing with the Bush people. They just can't imagine, 'Why don't you just pack up your Range Rover, grab a case of Poland Spring water out of the garage, and go to your summer home? What is the problem?!' They just don't get it." Bill Maher
On Poverty
"The point is that these poor black people who were suffocating in poverty didn't just get suffocated in poverty when the flood came. It was before the flood." Michael Eric Dyson
"There's an opportunity here. And hopefully, this will not just be about infrastructure and - for god's sake - having the National Guard at home guarding us as they should be. But it is an opportunity to look at the fact that there is structural poverty in this country that is getting worse." Bradley Whitford
"There are structural problems of opportunity that interfere with what people can do, but most of what happens to you is because of what you do, not because of what somebody else says. And you have to keep that in mind." Marry Frances Berry
On Iraq
"What this has shown us is that order is the basis of democracy, of civilization. And if you don't have order, it doesn't really matter what else you have. And so, in an odd sense, one more example of how an administration that talks about being very conservative has forgotten one of the core elements of what I guess would have been considered traditional conservatism: that first you need order, then you can have all the fun stuff like liberty and democracy." Fareed Zakaria
Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO
September 2, 2005
MAHER: All right, it's time for New Rules, everybody. All right, New Rule: Now that they've been hit by hurricane, the Alabama National Guard has to call up President Bush. Since he never really reported for duty back then, get out your chainsaw, Mr. President, it's brush-clearing time.
New Rule: If President Bush is going to exclusively play to military audiences, he must carry a golf club like Bob Hope and tell the Marines that the mess in Iraq is bigger than Dolly Parton's boobs. Why is there a troop shortage in Iraq? Because so many of them have to be here doing photo-ops with this clod. This guy has shown his ass to more servicemen than a bar girl in Thailand. I'm mad now!
New Rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
You know, I was once beat up after school, and believe me, I would gladly trade that pummeling for a session of oral sex with my French teacher - no matter how much his mustache tickled.
And finally, New Rule: Defenders of the war in Iraq must stop comparing it to the American Revolution.
DYSON: Thank you, thank you.
MAHER: Yes. The only thing the Iraqi leadership has in common with our founding fathers is that neither of them used deodorant. Now, the sight of Iraqis having a constitutional convention has put a lump in the throat of Bush, Rumsfeld and Cheney, all of whom have compared the American patriots of 1776 to our soldiers in Iraq today, mostly because they're using the same equipment.
Let's just mention a few ways this analogy breaks down. One: the American Revolution was a home-grown rebellion fought with guerilla tactics against an occupying army of foreigners and mercenaries. Okay, that is exactly what's going on in Iraq. Oh, except for one thing: This time, WE'RE ENGLAND!
DYSON: Right, right, right.
MAHER: You need proof? The only people on our side? England. Uh-oh, wait a second, our teleprompter just went down. [he pulls script out of his jacket] That's why I always carry it with me.
DYSON: Bill, you are prepared.
MAHER: Isn't that something? I have to say, I was never a Boy Scout. I would have made a damn good one. No, no, I don't need your cards. I've got it right here.
DYSON: Bill, direct FEMA. Let him direct FEMA!
MAHER: The only people on our side: England. Turns out, home field advantage, very important in wars. Also, a huge difference when it came to the big, basic issues. Our founding fathers were all pretty much on the same parchment. It wasn't like Jefferson was for representative democracy but Adams and Madison were ultra-orthodox clerics chanting the Bible.
But Iraq, you know what Iraq is like? Okay, take Pat Robertson, put him in the desert...oh, that's good. The American Revolution was nothing like what's going on in Iraq. Our founding fathers didn't have thousands of years of bitter feuds and grudges between them. Franklin's people had not gassed Hamilton's people.
Our framers were a homogenous group comprised only of white, land-owning males. Today, we would hardly call that a constitutional convention. We'd call that a Republican Convention.
"We, the people" did not include women, blacks, gays or Indians. It took another 200 years to become "We, the Village People..." Or, as Ben Franklin said at the signing, "Who are we forgetting?"
But I have not lost hope for Iraq. The sons of Mesopotamia do have greatness in their history. And although the obstacles are many, there is one thing that binds the Sunni, the Shiite and the Kurd: they hate the f*** out of us.
All right, thank you very much. Michael Eric Dyson, Bradley Whitford, Mary Berry. You've been a great audience. I thank you for coming on a difficult night for us. Thank you very much.
Me pelqente Politically Incorrect ne ABC dhe ben gabim qe ia prishen kontraten atehere per motive te dobeta politike.
HBO nuk e shohin te gjithe prandaj si emision mund te jete i bukur por nuk ka te njejten shikueshmeri si Daily Show psh qe eshte ne Comedy Central.
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