Thinking aloud...

[mad]

thashe: ti ndaj edhe une nja 2 mendime me komunitetin!...

| inside |

Can you smell this strong emotion? This outstanding fear that holds within the fate of every doomed soul! I could, until I turned into one of them...

It's dark! It's dump! It's rotting while crawling along this highway of human nightmares, cursing with flesh and bones, poisoning this hybrid environment, fertilizing this soil with its evil seed. Bringing pain, lot's of blinding and deafening pain no being ever resisted. Slowly swallowing whis plane of extinct existence, of a dark past, darker present adnd uncertain future. Strange moves of this force, evolving from this primitive shape into a supernatural maximum. Fiercely approaching towards this last remaining pure spirit, almost accomplishing its mission.

"Wake up! Open your eyes wide so you can realize you're being eaten alive! Who else will beat this beast inside you, if not you?! One final swing of your purity and it'll all be over!"

| m@d |


do me falni po gjetet ndo1 gabim tek-tuk...

[mad]

Praise to heaven to bring some peace,
Left aside just like disease.
Mourning rhymes like river flow,
Carrying storms ready to blow.
Fill this gap with innocence,
Emptiness that grows immense.
Calming thoughts so far from here,
rage taht doesnt disappear,
From the inside of my skin,
Evil flames burning my sin.
Ground that lies beneath my soul,
Hungry beast with a loud growl,
Picturing the unique feeling,
and I surrender before kneeling.

| m@d |

[Leila]

How Twilight Zone... :p

[mad]

| IT |

Here IT comes, with its tumbling roaring from the deepest of the earth. I’m looking at IT, and I stand still. The enormous underground monster stops right next to me, pops open on its left side and invites me in. the loud groan gives me goose bumps, but I decide to go.

The natural light of the platform fades away, as IT reenters the empty darkness. I can barely see myself. This lack of visibility makes me uncomfortable. Want to get out of here. This place stinks so much, as the humidity sticks to my skin like a disease. Once my eyes get used to the dark, that feeling of emptiness is rapidly replaced by this terrifying idea that there’s someone….something close to me, which gets even closer every time I breathe in.

The sound of liquid dropping and cracking moves is coming from all directions. It sounds like….bones? Unaware of the consequences, I rush my way through the cold air pumping in from the monster’s sides, touching those piles of organic remaining.

Every change of smell, every air draft, every sound that clicked next to me, keeps on giving me goose bumps, followed by other goose bumps, followed by anxious waiting for the next goose bumps to come. Sweat is running down my back.

This thing has no end. I bump on something; firmly standing next to me, cold and smooth, speechless. A vertical steel bar is blocking my way. I try to dodge it, but another is lined up parallel to the first, and another one, and so on. I feel so caged; the monster that entraps another monster. Desperate to get out, I struggle with the steel bars.

The last thing I clearly remember is the paralyzing shiver running up my neck, and everything became so white…another light beam of another underground platform woke me up. I crawl out of IT with my eyes shut, finding the opening by touch. I don’t dare to look back. Can you see the difference?

{^_^}

[mad]

| Day 1 |

A weird sound woke me up today, with the feeling that what had happened wasn’t just a dream. I gave a blurry look at the end of the bed, but I couldn’t distinguish any shape or shade. I guess I was just lying in the dark. It felt unusual, and frankly I started to worry. The cracking sound was louder, and closing up. Already in panic, I kept on trying to pull myself out of that position. No way could I move. I felt like tied and stitched on the mattress.

Panic started to pinch first on my stomach and then lungs. It was heavy to breathe all of a sudden, as if someone was sitting on my chest, lowering my heartbeat rate. The lack of air blurred my sight and my mind. The eyes seemed to pop out of their orbs and the throat was burning and itching. I don’t remember having this feeling since…Wait a minute! This feeling…it’s not new to me.

What is going on? Bits of action, sound and emotion were rushing to get loaded into my memory, giving a sense to the weird situation. How can that be? That room, the same I have spent so many hours in. Same walls, ceiling, table and chair, curtains and posters. That sound, the same I heard so many times, the lovely sound of the MSN noticing a message from a contact. Was I daydreaming again?

{^_^}

[mad]

| Day 2 |

Unknown faces masquerading unknown souls. Dead frozen eyes staring at the standard standing silhouette. The parsing pattern, guided with magnificent authority by the Man, fills in the gasping silent gaps of the room. A click, a knuckle, a scoff…everything under his severe surveillant sight. Quietly imposing, the Man walks the path between the rows, affording to either ignore or indulge into the encounters.

His voice spreads in a circular shape the sound waves carrying the usual tension. Perfect timing and coordination, a machine-like being.

| Day 3 |

Brand new feeling this time. This time it’s like I haven’t been here at all. It’s like there has been neither a “me”, nor an “us”.

Digging back in time, trying to grab myself on vague bits of memory. Trying to understand …why? No matter how much I try I can’t do that. I’m…really sorry, I do not mean to, I never did.

You don’t believe this, now do you? I did care about you, I still do, but meanwhile I forgot about me. I got lost somewhere in your mist, and I couldn’t find a way out. That’s because I didn’t even try to. And now that I am making my way out of there, it doesn’t feel bad at all.

This is how it goes, right? It keeps going in circles until it hits you at once, and you won’t see nor hear it. You will just wake the next morning, week, month or year with the most uncomfortable strangest loveliest emptiness. And you’ll wonder what it would be like if all this didn’t happen in the first place.

Well, here I am: hurt but alive! And with an enormous desire of getting back what I left along the way. Life, hear me up; this is my chance, it’s me getting the best of you.

{^_^}