Mohican

[Fiori]

Reflexes

It wasn’t about the make-up, although it was all new to me since I had never seen her wear any before. It was a beautiful green glass container, one of those fancy ones you usually see in the so known exotic commercials. The kind of commercials you end up remembering either by their dominant color or by their romantic, non related music on the background. Nevertheless I do remember the container. At that moment it seemed to be the only thing in color whereas the rest of the room had this black and white symphony of mix-matching that interrogated any piece of life puzzled in the air.

She finally gasped sweetly and that usually meant she was about to say something after the long pause that truly was wheezing the both of us. I would have been less scared at that moment if a snake would have wandered his way into the room, but one can only loose its power due to these time emerging happenings. These stimulations of what’s about to happen and its certainty.

She put the moisturizer on trying to see her face in the darkness of it all. “I’m getting ready to become my grandmother” – she said.

Dead people had never frightened me like that before. Our tomorrow suddenly morphed into a green island, where the sun just happened to shine for the last time.

[Fiori]

The outside

Sadness has opened up its path
and this is no fall
it's the pretense for growing
becoming a dream
realizing that self is not
the outcome,
is the small feature we lost
years ago,
looking at their faces
and realizing that maybe
pretending was better.

Sadness is growing up a tree
and this is no life juice
it spreads within ones' veins
and fails to kill
the only spoken word
like “happy” so to speak
that was said sharp as time
with reason.

[Fiori]

When I first met them

Their senses fight subconscious awareness*
of an entire generation of talkers.
and then she says
"May I"
in a green polyester suit
and dark helmet hair
she sneaks and rolls her tongue
sneezing out a true picture of horror.

By name who’s gone mad?!
The creepers of tomorrow
change colors when it rains
and burst out in mushrooms
of their own contempt
since what is Right
it's right here,
it’s what we all just said.

Their senses fight
subconsciously
dressed up in green polyester voice.

[Fiori]

Still life

Oh give me a moment here
I’ve heard it’s not right to eat
when talking to a lady.
“Do you have a dollar miss?”

This spring rain, pours down memories
in little bits,
they flood the city streets.
a dollar for your sorrows
Miss.

[Fiori]

Snow ball

Change comes expensive
in bulks of loneliness and
distances.

Carryon…

With a snow ball as a present
for such a remote game,
too tepid to kiss up
our tomorrow.

This song...
Over and over again.

[EXODUS]

Femra; nje histori ende e pabotuar, me te vertete!
Ma ha mendja se do e marr vete persiper ndonje dite...haven't I already?! :D

[Fiori]

Blessed

Bring justice to my "forgiveness"
adolescent, as I still see it
wearing a short yellow dress with long black hair,
bursting white breasts carved into blooming flowers
and a woman who sits next to it concerned
with the eschatological fact of this recital .
A book’s romance is now spring’s fallen petal,
lost in a running stream of singing angels.


p.s. Pershendetje dhe ti...

[Fiori]

Nonsense, your thoughtful nightmares in a milky morning spread, an eager try to console once future. It's all balloons in an every day existence, a single today, this morning…made no sense. People die and more are being born, this routine is monstrous. My luggage makes a two way stop. In a possessive superiority over any other traveling "thing", it's a step ahead from any possible goodbye. Eagerness, desire, comfort and belonging, (this last one more than others) reside in a magical symphony of events. And after that, no one really exists. Sometimes, they all try to intrude through the wired transmission of a box or even just by appearing in follow-up scenes…what have we become?! The past is in possession of the future and I'm still wearing a blue dress on my first concert. Still life…a circus!

[Fiori]

*......*......*

‘….life is business’ – he said.
Meanwhile I was trying to remember if this was something I had read on CNN.com, two days ago when Katia and I were reading through an article about a deadly earthquake or if it was just another cliché he had picked up on his frequent business trips? I’m sure all he said had some point and of course a very valuable lesson, but I’ve had plenty of those to last me a lifetime now. And don’t get me wrong, I love listening to anything he has to say. It’s the whole teaching and learning experience that’s loosing its value with time. It’s quite easy to teach people anything. We tend to want to know what we don’t know and that is what makes us so vulnerable towards those things that are just waiting to be ‘made up’ so that some fool can learn them so willingly.

Katia insists that I visit this doctor because it was a doctor who saved her mom and that doctors tend to be good conveyers of miracles. I believe she’s really got ‘ADD’. And then it hits me, it was the doctor, during my last visit who mentioned this whole ‘life and business’ thing. He should know…Feeling like an old car it has never been a problem for people. It’s the idea of expiration that freaks us out. This is how I got the interview for my last promotion [you’ve got to pay more attention to my words if you didn’t get this]. My superior believes I should play poker more often. The only trouble with this is that I’ve never played poker, nor do I like to watch poker.

I kiss him! He always tastes so good. He’s warm! He kisses me back…we kiss. We make love! I cry, he smiles… I get up and get ready for my next visit to the doctor, he gets ready for his next trip. I try to say how scared I am…things taste so much better this way. My fear is sweet, and tastes good and is warm, and kisses me back! I walk down the street not scared of a car accident. He jumps over water puddles, wearing his new suit. Maybe he’s got a date?! I want to feel jealous, I can’t!

Katia stands on the other side waving at me. She looks worried.

My ambition to love, it was just another ambition. It grew as I grew. Eager to meet the deadline…


*......*......*


p.s. fjalët

[Fiori]

What’s right?!

Ambiguity never solved your problems
nor did it help dissolve your sorrows
it crumbled your solitude
and your reasons
broke the path across tomorrow…

Oh darn,
as you walk pretending
what I said did not smother your ‘glory’,
broken wing and fractured splendor
slowly, slowly, slowly …
It’s consuming your joy!