Ditari i ndjenjave (gjuhë e huaj)

[*~Rexhina~*]

I do not usually take books from library, but finally today I decided to do so. I have to stop to rely on internet resources for my research papers. I chose to write about "adolescent suicide" this definitely won't make me dread the 8 pages required for the chosen topic...but I had a gut feeling that my sister didn't pay the fees when she borrowed my library card...when the guy told me I had to pay 25 dollars an urge to curse my sister outloud came to me...I had been walking 2 hours today, and because of the high heel boots that I wear, the souls of my feet were about to explode...so I went back to the dorm room to get the money.

today I decided also to look at people when I walk by, because who knows there might be a friend who would take it as an insult if I don't say hi to her/him

Why do I have the tendency of not looking at people? Is it because I am shy, or just for the sheer fact of them thinking oh she is looking at me...I find this to be quite stupid of me. As I got out of class I heard someone yell my name, I turn back to look at the students who were sitting on the tables outside the building...suddenly a guy with a white shirt stands up and walks towards me..."oh the Hungarian guy."
---through all those fighting, through all those insults, through all the physical abuse we caused each other...you dare not say hi?
---oh I didn't see you
---U WALKED IN FRONT OF ME
---maybe you are not that attractive to catch my eye
he gives me a nasty look and tells me to go home :P

[Undefined]

It’s so quite in here, every student has gone by now, finally spring break!
The warm smell of coffee mixed with classic jazz…Who would ever though…
Jazz would sound so dreamy…

while waiting ......

I’m waiting for your call
I’m waiting to see you
I’m so anxious
You know why?!
Cause I love you
Yeah its true…I love you
I can wait forever
In eternity
Cause you are the only one for me.

[nausika]

...soft, posh, silky to the touch …a white velvet ready to reveal to the world its best kept secret…

...and then I smelled the intoxicating scent, which equals only to the invigorating sensation of nature after a warm spring thunderstorm…

...the magic of the white lily… in bloom.

[BRADYKININ]

while waiting ......

I’m waiting for your call
I’m waiting to see you
I’m so anxious
You know why?!
Cause I love you
Yeah its true…I love you
I can wait forever
In eternity
Cause you are the only one for me.

"Forever turned out to be too long, Tristan." ;) Quote from Legends of the Fall

[IsiNYC]

How can I see my future, if my past is still present?

[EXODUS]

Frankly, at times, I sort of find it hard to trust her. She sometimes seems like one of those who will want to suck a man's soul out till he has none of his own left.

[nausika]

I lost my earing today!
It all begun as a sunny, beautiful day and wanting to match the spirit of the season I went all in to match the colours of nature and the brightness of everything...it was all too perfect...until I see myself in the reflection of the window and only one side was sparkling...PANIC!!!
and then doing a complete inventory of the office (finding all sorts of "lost" things..pencils, rubber bands and other banalities...) but no earing........
And because of this I switched to the nostalgic mode...whoever says that it's not worth to be attached to material things, is clueless...there are so many memories/emotions that we attach to material things that they become a part of the thing and (as a consequence) collateral damage...

oiiiiiiiiiiii

.

[Undefined]

its almost 2:00 pm and i cant sleep...its been weeks now that i am having problems with sleeping....i am so stressed out and all this caffeine now has invaded my veins...finals week, work, missing him, all this pressure...it is suffocating me. I just want to run away...and be able to sleep...switch of my brain...and relax my body...damn it feels good!!! Of course turn off my cell phone…and just forget about everything for a single moment…

Am i asking too much...?! or am i just being selfish?!

[nausika]

The "cat and mouse" game.

What actually happens in the mind of the mouse when he knows he's being chased by the cat? First of all, it's obvious that the cat wants to catch the mouse and the mouse instinctively runs away for cover. But it's not that simple. In the animal world there is a lot of chasing and catching done, but none has the characterictics of "a game". The tiger chases the gazelle and most of the time turns it into lunch/dinner. There is no game being played there, it's serious business for both of them (albeit for different reasons). On the other hand, the cat doesn't chase the mouse only when the owner forgot to buy catfood. The cat will chase if provoked and the mouse will run around even if shelter is available closer by. They are playing a game. Surprisingly and intentionally, they both know it's a game. I don't think that the cat is very dissapointed if the mouse eventually gets away, because the chasing was fun for the cat. On the other hand, if the chasing wasn't fun for the mouse, he wouldn't participate in the game either. The mouse must feel "special" just because he's being chased (but ofcourse his risk is greater so, most of the exhilaration of the game belongs to the cat).
I wonder if the rules of the game were disturbed somehow (let's blame it on globalization and feminism to make it convenient), would the dynamics of the game be the same? Does the chaser always have the advantage of the game bestowed to it, simply by the role (of the chaser)? On the other hand, being chased is always the riskier part to play (you don't know if you're being chased by a carnivore or just a soft-hearted playmate).
The question is: If you know before hand that the roles are not distributed yet, which one would you want to be?

[EXODUS]

It is not what people randomly call, 'a few times' that I'm 'captivated' by wondering to myself. Are we really bound to immensely suffer in the way our destiny unfolds in front of us?! Or, do we just accidentally make that same exact choice on our own?!

In any case I've learned to know I'm in...people, anybody, just can't help their...(I better let myself have something to be captivated to wonder about(:D) next time up! It's just the way it is. or it should be!)