Ditari i ndjenjave (gjuhë e huaj)

[Veshtrusja]

10.03.2005

I've been told that many today believe sincerity is a characteristic of the weak, the small. Of course, I disagree. Never should the power of one who is sincere be underestimated. For even a "clear, true" diamond has the power to cut. And even a small bullet, if aimed in the "right" direction, becomes a very powerful mechanism. Never should the power of one who is right, sincere, and small be underestimated...

[Lioness]

I find myself strangely peaceful . . . and boringly content. But if that is the word of the day, so be it. I think I can deal with it, living for a while with the predictable, while cruelly avoiding any emotional struggle, and taking pleasure in doing that. Some part of me, somewhere (don't know where, forgot where) is probably hating this sadistic detachment, but most of me is delighted (ecstatic would be a highly charged word) to have thrown away, torn appart any remainders of emotional appeal. To that anonymous, nameless, shadowy part of me, I only have one word to say, not that I need to justify myself (or most of myself):
"Surviving......"

I'd like to think that, ..... that part of me will hear the echo of that word, while running away, for the sake of its own survival, but for the sake of mine, I will whisper .... please come back when you become stronger than me! But not just yet, not just yet.

[StormAngel]

13-03-2005

I am writing a long essay on Socrat and his theories, but my mind is set on other things. Out there, people are screaming and shouting cause they favourite party won the local elections, but that is too distant for me too.
While the clock is ticking and everybody is doing what they have and need to do, I can`t stop thinking about you and what are you doing at the moment...are you brushing your long curly hair? Are you talking to your parents? Are you out...or are you...are you thinking about me as well. Whatever you do...I hope you are happy. That`s my only wish...
Well, I should get back to writing if I want to finish this essay.
For gods sake, who is the moron that invented philosophy?? And why??
Or am I the moron in this case...huh!?
It doesn`t even matter, time is ticking away.

[Lioness]

While I have almost mastered my peaceful existence..... there are obviously a few things that can make me shed a tear.....

Someone mentioned my home town today ..... I tried unhumanly not to let it get to me, but the memories were divinely stronger. Hunted, by images of the sea, of its waves gently caressing my soul even when a storm was brewing inside of it.... the image of the most dazzling sunset, stunning away the deepest sorrows.....
The beach, somewhere tender, and elsewhere tense, on edge .... somewhere gracefully taking over the sea, elsewhere struggling as it is being taken over by the infinite blue.... I remember ....... remembering being shaped by this nature's ritual. I was the sand at times, and other times the rock, I lived and breathed in the intensity of it, untill I would get lost in its immensity and find myself all over again.... And I would always find myself, the waves of the blue sea had somehow, never failed to show me the way.....

Untill now, but ...... but that's because I failed them......

While I have almost mastered my peaceful existence ..... there are obviously a few things that can made me shed a tear ....... or a sea of them ....

[*~Rexhina~*]

Beautifully written Patriote :)

Eight minutes...and i am gone...walking through the pathway that leads to my dorm. The sun shines but i can barely enjoy... this stress i cannot cope. The wormth that i feel, the peacefulness that i hear, fills my heart with bliss whenever i look at the trees, the sky, birds and small squarrels that seem prevalent wherever i walk.

But i do not have time to enjoy it as much as i want...this class i dread,...which it lasts till 10 o'clock...i have to present in front of the class...funny i am stressed for a class which teaches "stress management"

[StormAngel]

Sometimes it seems to me that I have the whole world in my palms, and nevertheless I still feel lonely. I am still wondering why that happens? Why is it that the tiny little meaningless things matter so much?? So much that even a whole world could not replace those tiny little things...(lol tiny little tinies)
I am exhausted these days, I have finished a 30 page long paperwork, and all I want is a loooong rest. But...the dynamic world and the life I live won`t let me have that luxury, so I guess I will either loose my head or get that freaking rest.
Anyways, for this post not to sound all that pathetic, to all of you wherever you are and whatever you do I wish you a very quiet evening or a very peaceful day and let the force be with you :)

Cheers!

[Veshtrusja]

14-03-2005

I'm convinced that a lie is the worst thing that could exist in life. It's the spark that egnites all that is bad. Even though I am conscious of the fact that people are not perfect, even though I know I am not perfect (in fact, far from it), it is still hard for me to grasp why someone would consciously lie to another, or even to his or her self for that matter. I think that even what we call "white" lies are harmful, in fact. We try to justify them, but in the end, I don't think they bring about any good.

If you cannot tell the truth, then do not bother saying anything at all. This is what I believe. This is what I expect from others. Is this too much to expect? I honestly hope not.

[Veshtrusja]

15.03.2005

I'm cold, but the sun's rays gliding through the window's curtain seem to slowly warm me. I close my eyes for a few minutes and forget that anything exists. There is only me. Where? It doesn't matter. Just me. And then, I hear a bird singing outside. It sounds really nice. Now it isn't just me. Now it is me and a bird. mmmmmmmm it feels good to listen to the bird. I open my eyes and the rays hit the side of my right eye, when i close them again, I still see the ray, when I open them, the ray is brighter, and then gets brighter, and even more brighter..... I take a deep breath...

[StormAngel]

Life is too short, too short to live in anger.
We all got to survive in this world, making our dreams come true, day by day, second after second.
Dreams, something unexplainable and yet a persons highest ideal and emotion. Dreaming for a better life, everyday.
Do you dream?

[Veshtrusja]

...Do you dream?

16.03.2005

What a good question. Do I dream? I do. Sometimes more than I used to. Other times, less. But despite all the harsh, blinding-bright lights that abruptedly go on, I still dream...

All of a sudden the lyrics of Roy Orbison just came to me:

all
I have to do is drea-ea-ea-m,dream,dream,dream,drea-ea-ea-m
Dream,dream..

It's nice, but somehow I don't agree that that is all that I have to do. There's more....