Tirana saw us
The Albanian government has asked McKinsey to develop a strategy to improve
the country's image and attractiveness to foreign investors.
To: Albanian cabinet
From: McKinsey, Zagreb Office
Subject: Image refurbishment
Further to our discussions last month we present our preliminary thoughts on
upgrading Albania's image to overseas investors.
You are already aware that structural changes are needed. Image makeovers
rarely succeed if they are not underpinned by a genuine rethink. The bribery
of tax and licensing officials may very well be a proud tradition in your
country but it does rather cut against the reform and modernisation drive.
You may be aware of the old German joke urging businessmen to "fly to
Albania; your car's already there". Charming as this is, it is probably not
the image you want to project. A requirement for all Mercedes to display a
valid receipt in the window would work wonders.
Once these measures are in place however, some cosmetic changes would go a
long way towards signalling the birth of a new and modern Albania.
For a start we recommend you consider a name change. Albania is so last
century - it seems to date back to the year Zog. Something that suggests a
more technologically advanced, even cool, nation. After consultations with
branding experts, we recommend aPod. This conjures up a far more buzzing
image, especially if U2 could be prevailed on to write your new national
anthem.
Finally we find nothing spurs on investors quite so much as a peaceful
revolution, preferably one with a colour or material in it. The publicity
value of one, if you could organise it, would be immense. Orange, rose,
velvet and cedar have already gone but salmon pink is nice and has happy
associations with business. Thanks to the widespread global ignorance of
Albanian politics, there is probably no need even to oust the existing
administration as long as it all takes place so suddenly as to sweep you
into power before any foreign press can make it to Tirana.
A new communications supremo would also help. Alastair Campbell will be
available from May. He's a little brutal by Albanian standards but the great
thing is his proven track record of securing such good coverage for reforms
that it can be years before people realise they do not quite live up to
expectations.
robert.shrimsley@ft.com
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