Inner Expressions

[ildushja]

" I Hate You "

I hate how I fall for your sweet little words
I hate how you make me feel
Like you're my enitre world
I hate how you can make my day turn blue
I hate how sometimes, you don't act like you.
I hate how you think I'll always be there
Like a delicate flower, I also need care.
I hate how you can turn a frown into a smile on my face
Especially when you were the reason
I was frowning in the first place.
I hate everything about you
I hate you so much
I hate the way you talk
All the way to your soft touch.
I hate how you're so good at everything you do
All I can say is I hate you!
I hate how you don't appreciate
So much that I do
Don't you get it?
I hate that I love you.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Never Meant To "

I never meant to hurt you
Never meant to make you cry
I never meant to be untrue
Or confuse you with a lie.

I never meant to be so rude
And not try to understand
I never meant to make you feel so trapped
Like you were at my command.

I never meant to make you feel bad
And make your day turn blue
Never tried to change your ways
I like the real you.

I'm sorry if you misunderstoof me
And I'm sorry for not showing that I care
I'm sorry if I never showed my love for you
But just know that it is there.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" If I Had "

If I had a million stars and I lay them on the ground
I could play the sweetest music
Without a single sound
I could make a million promises
And they would all be the same
For with the million stars I had
I could spell out your name.

If I had a million dreams
I'd see them in the air
And even rainbows shining bright
To you would not compare.

I'd dream my dreams and smile
With nothing else to do
For all the million dreams I had,
Would be of only you.

If I blew a million kisses
To the angels up above
They would wrap them in the softest clouds
To give to you my love.

And when they gave them straight to you
I know my life would start
For if I blew a million kisses
They would bring with them my heart.

If I wished a million wishes
The sun would shine so bright
And all the love within your eyes
Would light the darkest night.

You have caputred my lonely heart
With all your many charms
So when I wish my million wishes,
Hold me in your arms.

But I have not got a million stars
To try and spell your name
And I have not got a million dreams,
To play at Cupid's game
And I have not got a million wishes
My angel can't you see
With no starts, dreams, or wishes
All I have is me.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Inner Expression "

Who is this person
Underneath my skin
Catching all my feelings
And hiding them within
Mental architechture
Building walls of mental structure
In moonlight's glow
My vines of patience grow
My thoughts often tower
Getting way too tall
My feelings often cower
When the towers fall.
I'm traped inside this mood
Number 22
Feeling transparent
Harmonic current
Who is this person
Underneath my skin
Stealing all my feelings
And hiding them within
Nothing but a shadow
Underneath the sun
Nothing but an outline
Of a lonely skeleton.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Life "

Alone I sit on the ocean of life
Floating around in my old, wooden chair
I look around at the blue everlasting water
And nothing but sadness is there.

I get up from the chair and walk on the surface
Careful that I won't fall in
I waste time, energy, and feelings
And I go back on that chair again.

What is the meaning of this endless road?
A road with no end or no hope
So ice and cold, and bloody, and brutal
A road with no way to my home.

I spend my first few years
On that surface so simple and calm
Walking on that flat ocean
Dancing on God's comforting palm.

Years go by, and the ocean gets deeper
Now wild and wavy, and blue
I drown in those miles of sadness
And I can't find my way through.

What is this battle I'm fighting?
Against an unkown enemy
But when I get through the waves, the blood, and the tears
I've found my way home and I'm free.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Love At First Sight "

Our eyes would meet
Our lips would lock
Our hands would clasp
Our feet would walk.
If I was with you
We'd never part
Because I love you
With all of my heart.
If I met the one
I'd know it was true
Cause if I met the one
It would have to be you.
Your lips you shudder
But that is just fine,
You'd whisper " I love you."
I'd say "You're mine."

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Perfect "

You're the perfect loving person
The perfect loving friend,
The most perfect boyfriend
You're perfect to the end.

I wish I was close by you
To hear that lovely voice
To listen to the things you say
Without a thought of choice.

To feel that soft, smooth skin
Across that gorgeous face
To hold your gentle hand
And chat with laughs and lace.

I'd stare into your eyes
And deep within your soul
I'd figure out your thoughts and dreams
And really take a toll.

But sadly we are no longer
Within each other's reach
We've slowly dirfted off,
Like pebbles along a beach.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Smile Blue "

I'm happy again it's true
I'm happy again it's you
I'm laughing now let's dance
I'm laughing now I'm blue
Did you know I love to dream?
The heart inside me loves to sing
I'm quiet now it's true
I'm quiet now it's you.
I'm laughing now let's dance
I'm laughing now I'm blue.
Did you know I love to smile?
Though I hide it all the while
I'm hopeful now it's true
I'm hopeful now it's you.
I'm laughing now let's dance
I'm laughing now I'm blue.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" One "

One look, One touch, Is all I know
One heart, One love, So long ago
One life, One world, Broken and torn
One lie, One tear, And all is gone
One gift, One pain, Is all I know
One word, One step, You had to go.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" The Mother "

I see the pain
In your eyes
I hear the fear
In the baby's cries.
She was a woman,
A mother,
A friend in need,
Prepared to have
Another mouth to feed.
You stood by,
Through thick and thin,
Prayed she'd make it,
Prayed she'd win.
But she lost her life,
To save another,
The true quest
For a mother.
I'm sure you will miss her
More than a lot
From all of the battles
That she fought.
But do not worry,
She'll be fine
And so will the child
She left behind.

-IG-