Inner Expressions

[ildushja]

Finally after being told about this part of the forum, I'm posting my poems here.
Several of them have been posted in PDG, but I'll post them here again!

Thank you for flying with ildushja airlines, buckle up, and enjoy the ride! :^gg

" After You "

After you I don't know
Don't know if I can love again
Not sure where my heart belongs
I'm not sure where to go from here
Or what to do without you
Everything I do
Feels so new
I don't know what to say
How to walk
My heart doesn't know how to feel
I don't know how to cry;
You never let tears fall from my eyes
But now you're gone
You're not here to protect me
The world's so cold without you.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Art Blossom "

Happy blossom kiss me
Take my breath away
Solar candy love me
Just don't take the dawn today
Violet baby hurt me
I'll still kiss your heart and hand
Baby only hold me
Maybe let the day begin.
Close your eyes and save me
Ready from the very start
Luscious beauty leave me
You can turn my pain to art.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Circle Me With Love "

Circle me with love
Touching who I am
Ride the slide around
Find me at the end.
Who cares if it's dark
My back awaits the wind
Ride the slide around
Find me at the end
Circle me with heart
Warm and like the sun
Climbing up the monkey bars
We'll pretend they're stepping stars
Circle me again
Discover who I am
Ride the slide around
Find me at the end.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Cotton Doll "

My father is a cotton doll
I love his smile most of all
Inside my heart, dark red
I'm dancing with the dead.
I tried to chase the skies
Flowers fill my room, closed eyes
Oceans choke my heart, tonight
I'm dancing with the pale
Flowers fill my soul, disguised
Oceans choke my heart, I cry
Life is hurting
I have worried
I have feelings
I have burried
His cancer hurts me most of all
My father is a cotton doll.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Dreamer, Take Tomorrow "

I guess, when you dream
Something stays awake
I guess, when I dream
Something runs away
I'm happy for everyone
Even thoughI'm sad
I'm happy for everything
Please don't chase my path
When you dream, I guess
Something leads the way
So I dream, I guess
Something calls to me
I'm scared, colorful ribbons
Even thoughI'm living
I'm scared, not to mention
Strong hearts are so unforgiving
When you sleep, I guess
Something helps you breathe
So I breathe, I guess
Something made me dream
I'm happy, for everyone
Even though I'm sad
I'm happy for everything
Please don't chase my path.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Ever So Gently "

You touch me ever so gently
Yet I still pull away
Turn my head as if you're not there
Hoping you will understand
Understand that I have been broken already
Infact you can still see some of the cracks
The scars beginning to form on my wrists
The bones protruding through my clothes
Even the bruises of too many bad memories just beneath the surface
I can no longer show my affection
Even the tears that once came throughout the lonely nights have ceased
No longer forming at the corners of my eyes as I try to force it all away
In the sweet esccape of sleep
I do want your love
I'm starving for it infact
Both outside and in
I long for you as I push you away
And I ask that you understand
But I don't understand it myself.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Feeling "

Something stirring in my soul
Something making my heart whole
For some reason it wants me to be
But it can't stop hurting me
I can't help but want to cry
I'm frightened and I don't know why
My breathing has gotten slow
I need to stay, but want to go
Feeling, tell me why you're here
Give up control and let me steer
I don't like being blind
I want possesion of my mind
Captivity might be easy for you
But feeling you are new
I'm not used to seeing through your eyes
I don't want to say your good-byes
Frightened, huddled on the floor
Feeling, please, open the door.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Forgive And Forget "

Will you not forgive me?
Will you not forget?
Will you persecute me
For something I regret?
I said that I was sorry
For taking away your fun
For getting mad at you
For something I had done.
I hope you'll let it go
And still will be my friend
For losing you would be a loss
I'd regret to the end.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" Happy To See "

If once
You could see
What I can see
Just once
You would be as happy
As I can be.
Knowing you
Makes it all wash away
The pain, the suffering
Can never stay.
If once you could perceive
The thought of my thoughts
Would provoke you to grieve.
The pains I go through
And the tears that Icry
Hopingyou'll notice
As the time shuffles by.
Sorry
We were friends
We thought we'd never part
ButI hurtyou
And you broke my heart.
The blood started flowing
The names began calling
If I hadn't known better
I'd say we were falling.
Now you hate me
And I'm not sure why
When I hear those names from you
I break down and cry.
I tried to be strong
To make it through
But I lost my touch
And realized I need you.
You were a friend
Who was there when needed
ButI didn't care
Your feelings weren't heeded.
I want to say sorry
I hope you'll accept
Because you're a friend
I wish I had kept.

-IG-

[ildushja]

" I Hate "

I hate myself
I hate my life
I hate my dreams
I hate my eyes
I hate the way I think
I hate the way I breathe
The way I sing...
I hate the things I say
The words I write...
I hate the day
I hate the night
I hate this mood
I hate the truth
I hate my face
I hate my shoes
I hate the world
But I LOVE YOU!

-IG-