How can you tell that the Governor Schwarzeneger still enjoys groping women?
He kisses babies while they're breast-feeding.

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A woman stood in front of her mirror, naked. She said to her husband, "I'm fat, wrinkled and ugly. It's so depressing. Please say something to make me feel better."
He replied, "Your eyesigh is perfect."

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A drunk driver and his buddy were driving down the street. The driver said to his friend, "I think we're getting closer to downtown."
The other guy asked, " How can you tell?"
The driver replied, "We're hitting more and more people."

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How do you know when a terrorist is depressed?
He doesn't feel like killing himself.

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Why did the condom fly across the room?
It was pissed off.

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Why can't dwarfs please tall women?
Because when they're toes to toes, their nose is in it. And when they're nose to nose, their toes are in it.

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