Textbook Excuses
Can a $100,000 education help you out of a jam?
Gal just caught you red-handed ogling another woman? Relax, padreyour old
schools gonna help you out. Here are five surefire excuses, straight from
college courses, thatll have you back in the saddle in no time. (Next time
wait till shes in the ladies room to let your eye wander )
Excuse from gender studies:
You werent mentally undressing the girl; you were quietly judging her.
Say: Poor thingits clear shes unwittingly buying into a patriarchal view
of womens beauty by choosing modes of dress that contribute to her own
oppression. Thank God youve got more personal power than that.
Excuse from art history:
You were trying to place her in the correct historical period.
Say: Can you believe that in the post-Renaissance baroque era, a hefty
woman like that was considered the representation of ideal female beauty?
Excuse from solid geometry:
Shes simply a solid object thats piqued mathematical curiosity.
Say: I was just formulating equations to calculate the space occupied by
that particular set of three-dimensional curvilinear objects and developing
methods for testing my hypotheses. Hey, have you lost weight?
Excuse from sociology:
Youre a clinical observer in the field.
Say: Shh Im checking out her nonverbal cues as a way of studying female
behavior. Werent you the one who said I needed to get in touch with my
feminine side?
Excuse from psychology:
The whole ugly scene was merely a ruse to test your girlfriend.
Say: Interesting So that
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mua me pelqeu shpjegimi ne baze te sociologjise![]()
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