1.You are 36 and your mother still makes your bed.
2.You can name a gun just by the sound it makes when it fires.
3.You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm or you wear it on a necklace.
4.There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.
5.Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles in 5 feet of snow barefoot up hills and mountains just to go to school.
6.Raki is like holy water in your house you use it to cure all illnesses.
7.You wear an armani shirt when u work out or go to the gym.
8.The only cigarettes u smoke are marlboro reds and the only beer u drink is heineken.
9.You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your 9mm in the middle of the street during the wedding gathering.
10.When you're a girl and your brother beats up your guy-friends cause he thinks they're your boyfriends.
11.There has been a time when u were in Albanian Chat for 7 straight hours.
12.You open up a million dollar business and if it doesn't work out u burn it down and collect insurance
13.At least one time in your life u have owned a BMW M3
14.You have atleast one cousin who's in jail for murder
15.Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know their name u just call them "ej Shqipe"
16.All of your dads co-workers know the history of Albania and Albanians.
17.You dress up just to take the garbage out.
18.You didn't pass kindergarten because your parents never taught you how to speak English
19.You start smoking at the age of 13
20.You live in places like New York, Toronto, New Jersey and Michigan
21.Your grandfather wears that white egg looking Albanian hat
22.You own a leather jacket
23.You either own a restaurant, Coney island, pizzeria, building, hotel, or construction company
24.You have atleast one aunt or uncle who lives in the Bronx
25.Your father is always trying to unite the Albanian community
26.You drive the most expensive car at your school
27.Your neighbors understand words like "t'****** nonen" and "vdeksh ishalla"
28.All the hot Albanian guys/girls are somehow related to you
29.You go to Albanian parties and functions just to show off
30.Your mother calls all cerials "cherriosa"
31.You can be killed in a blood feud and be known as a family hero
32.You got in trouble in 10th grade when u spray painted an Albanian eagle on your highschool wall
33.Your favorite hockey player is tie domi just because he's Albanian
34.You met your future husband/wife on AOL
35.You are known to vandalize nightclubs with your boys and cousins
36.You can be heard 3 blocks away blasting sinan hoxha and bujar qamili greatest hits
37.You have more alcohol in your house then the local bar
38.Your mom yells at you in Albanian infront of your American girlfriends
39.You invite 1,000 people to your wedding and you only know 300 of them
40.Your grandmother steals silverware from restaurants.
41. Yourr mom beats you up infront of ur teacher.
42. You no your albanian wen you see a hot girl u say! "O NONE O NONEEEEEEEE" !!!!!!!!!!!!!
43.You claim every famous white rapper is part Albanian.
44.You can pronounce words like: gjergj, qyrra, gjeagjez etc.
45.You you always talk about Albanian History infront of others.
46.You'r dad enourages you to drink raki because it makes u a man.
47.You pretend to talk on your cell just to look cool.
48.When you use "Kos" (yogurt) to soothe your sunburn.
49.your parents beat the shit out of you with a tree branch!!!
50.you have a big freaking head!!!
51.You can spot an Albo a mile away.
52.When half of your relatives drive a Benz or a BMW.
53.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
54.You always say "open the light", instead of "turn the light on".
55.You say bye 15 times before hanging up the phone.
56.Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
57.You know youre Albanian when youre always getting into a fight at a bar or club.
58.Youre Albanian when your mom kicks youre ass with a wooden spoon and youre married.
59.When none of your friends can be with ur ex boyfriend/girlfriend
60.You have never been grounded, you just got ur ass beat.
61.You get yelled and hit for getting hurt
62.You're obsessed with soccer: you either play it urself or watch it 24/7... no matter whose playing.
63.There is no such thing as talkin in normal tones... only yelling...
64.Your house is full of medicine from Albania and it's probably all illegal here.
65.your parents have never gone on vacation anywhere but Albania.
66.you carry RAKI back here from Albania in plastic coke or water bottles under tons of clothing in the suitcase
67.You don't talk back to your dad cause you know his hand is equivalent to a 2x4...
68.You know how to swear in manny different languages!
69.When you have a collection of Kalashnikovs (ak-47) back home
70.When after you finish eating at a restaurant, your parents will check the bill 25 times and make sure its right and re check with a calculator on their cell.
71.When j-walking comes naturally to you
72.You know your Albanian when the solution of any of your problems is violence
73. When you blame others for your mistakes and younever admit your wrong.
74. when you wear albanian clothes to show that youpatriotic.
75. when you have a huge ass albanian flag hanging in your room or balcony.
76.Je i bindur se gjithcka eshte nje konspiracion kunder teje dhe vendit tend.
77.Je kusheri me gjysmen e njerezve qe njeh.
78.Ke bere nje ekskursion me shkollen ne Kruje.
79.Kur je jashte nuk do te kesh te besh me shqiptaret.
80.Mamaja jote e ka mbeshtetur jeten mbi leximin e filxhanit te kafese.
81.Je ne tavoline me 2 miq dhe nderkohe keni 4 ide te ndryshme politike.
82.Degjon prinderit qe flasin kur je akoma 100 m larg nga shtepia.
83. When your mom takes off of your her slipper means for you to run.
Pėrgjigju Duke Cituar
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