Fjalor per takime dashurie

[glaukus 001]

The Dating Dictionary

DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE: A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT: What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC: A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER: A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY: How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

[glaukus 001]

Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss

1. Kiss on the hand.... I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck... I want you
4. Kiss on the lips... I love you
5. Kiss on the ears... I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else ... lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes ... kiss me
8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist...I love you to much to let you go


Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him
2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good
3. Guy and Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to
stare


Article 3: The Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze to hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.


*Remember*

A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
without some tongue
so open up your mouth,
close your eyes,
and give your tongue
some exercise!!!



@@@@@@@@@@@@@

from a chain letter ...

[glaukus 001]

PROFESSOR'S DEFINITIONS OF A KISS
Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:



Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.


Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.



&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

[elbasan]

Të lezetshme glaukus 001.

[glaukus 001]

Thanx elbasan,
Ja dhe 1 tjeter , sjelle nga anetari DarienSar

The Secret Language of Women

(Men should probably commit this to memory...)


Fine:
This is the word women use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.

Five minutes:
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before we take out the trash, so they feel that it's an even trade.

Nothing:
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh:
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

Soft Sigh:
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh:
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do:
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

Thanks:
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

Thanks A Lot:
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

[glaukus 001]

material i sjelle per forumin nga anetari argenti01


WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.


HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?


HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life in your wildest dreams.

[Blendi]

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. "Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?" Johnny from the back of the room yells, "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. "OK Mike, what is your word." Saturday says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables..." Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!" Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion." Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful." "No Ma'am, your thinking of 'blowjob', and that's only two syllables .

[glaukus 001]

Why guys like girls



1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both
know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID
after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you
know that an hour later....
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way apologize when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so
that it doesn't hurt her anymore... .

-------
kjo ishte ... pak serioze por me vone do lexoni dicka pak me provokuese

[Enkela B.]

pershendetje dhe nga mu

Girls' English
Yes = No

No = Yes

May-b = No

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now!

" Do what u want" = You'll pay 4 this later!

We need to talk" = I need to bitch.

"Sure......Go ahead" = I don't want you too.

" I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron!

" How much do u love me?" = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me i'm beautiful.

" You have to learn to communicate!" = Just agree with me.

" Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead!



Guy's English

" I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

" I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

" I'm tired " - I'm tired

" Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

" Can I take you to dinner?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

" Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

" May I have this dance?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress" = Nice cleavage.

" You look tensed, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.

" What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?

" What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

" I love you" = Let's have sex right now.

" I love you too" = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!

" Let's talk" = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!

" Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.

[glaukus 001]

Per keshtu gjerash e kisha fjalen edhe une ,

U go girl !!!



Ja dhe disa te tjera per Girls' English :

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.

I want new curtains... = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

I need wedding shoes. = The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there. = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby ? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.



An answer to question: "What's wrong?"

The same old thing. = Nothing.
Nothing. = Everything.
Everything. = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. = You're such an asshole!
I don't want to talk about it. = I'm not ready to yell at you yet.