No Integrity

[Nebelstern]

Pandemonium... an utterly lawless, riotous place or assemblage... a place where demons, and evil spirits reside. A place inside my head... a place, where all is infallible. A place where candyland kisses, and impromptu dreams of marshmallow men, dancing in feather dresses, is all controlled by the happenings of Pandoras Box. You see, your sanctuary... is not a safe haven... and it is not imaginary.

Pandemonium is my reality... what would you do if you couldn't find yourself? Let the world know you as you are, not as THEY think you should be, because all we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream. Just remember, you have to have a darkness for the dawn to come, and ...

nothing makes us so lonely... as our own secrets...

Do not ask which creature screams in the night, do not question who waits for you in the shadow. It is my cry that wakes you in the night, and my body that crouches in the shadow.

I am The Fallen Angel and you are the puppet that dances to my tune. I am the manipulation that your lives so badly yearn for, believe in me, as I am not who you think I am. The wheel of time turns, and ages come and pass leaving memories that become legend, then fade to myth, and are long forgotten when that age comes again.

I know who I am, and who I may be, if I choose. People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it. Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we can see ourselves as we really are. Adversity has been the story of my life. I have had to overcome obstacles, time and time again.

[Nebelstern]

Dinosauric, obsolete, functions and schemes atrophied, dressed in mass series clothes productions, thinking they are unique. Brains dried with hot air coming from cheap Television series. Illusions gone bad in a wastingly away throwed life, thinking everyday you’re something special.

And than you wake up, stand up and walk out of the door.
You hear like every other day the squeaking noise of the wooden door next to you, and you do not even try to look at your left.

For than your illusion of uniqueness would completely vanish. Coming out of it, it’s another pathetic, unoriginal characterless weakling like you...

... wasting his life...

[Nebelstern]

"Everything is poison, there is poison in everything. Only the dose makes a thing not a poison."

[Nebelstern]

1)Every dawn renews the Beginning, and to behold the earth struggling out of the formless void, out of the night, is to witness the act of creation.

2)Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition of our existence. If the lore of the transmigration of souls is a true one, then these, between their exchange of bodies, must pass through the sea of forgetfulness.

***

..Yeah, i try to make myself believe that. As i walk through these very city streets looking for her, i try to make myself believe that forgetting is the best thing.After all it was me who said goodbye..

Words come buzzing in my ears , words from the past , words that shouldn't have been said.

"Talk. Talk. Talk. . . . Good lines and no action . . . said all . . . not even promising first act . . . again a failure,and life more than half over . . . rather be a playwright and fail than a critic compelled to listen to has-beens and would-bes trying to put over bad plays."

i catch myself repeating a phrase from Black Oxen.

I try to convince myself that forgetting is the best thing. After all , she has a whole new life to care about.

Sometimes , i wonder if she even thinks about me at all...

And even if she does she will most probably say something like :

Once upon a time I came to know a watermelon.

I try to make myself believe that forgetting is the best thing

...and i fail...

[Nebelstern]

Our intimate relationships, more than anything else, are a testing ground for our feelings and emotions. They are the catalyst that can make us feel on top of the world or in the depth of depression.

How do we cope with these strong feelings and emotions? Our intimate relationships are a mirror of our general level of consciousness, they show us how well we are able to manifest our ideals in everyday life.

Preferably we try to find a partner with similar or compatible ideals or we try to improve our existing relationship by finding and harmonising our ideals. Our common ideals, more than anything else, can help to ensure a happy and fulfilled long-term relationship.

***
Strange world people talk and tell only lies
Strange world people kill an eye for an eye
Strange world dream one-day we'll see the light
Strange world believe and everything will be alright
...And this is the place where everything begins and ends again...

Strange world , where i walk nameless streets and wonder if you read me !...

[Nebelstern]

The air had never been so bitter to him. He felt as if the world had gone upside down. He felt that reality was not as it should be. There was something wrong with this...

There was something wrong with it all. He didn't quite know why, or how this could have happened. All he did know is that it was a horror onto which he felt there was no escape. The horror of seeing everything you've worked for, taken from you... if not for any other reason than to take it.

"Sanity... what do we define as sane to begin with? Is it the collective subconscious? Is it the generic reality that we all feel we must embrace? That we are taught to embrace? I know my sanity lies within me.

I know it, because I've seen people losing it before. In perhaps a feeling that no one should ever know... perhaps that memory should never be opened to the public. After all, we know what happened to the fool who opened Pandora's Box"

He never drank. Yet, toward nightfall in that smoke-colored season between Indian spring and summer's first true sun, he would sometimes feel half drunken.

He would hang his coat neatly over the back of his chair in the leaden station-house twilight, say he was beat from lack of sleep and lay his head across his arms upon the query-room desk.

It was one of those days..

[Nebelstern]

About Respect


Respect, respect me, I say
In every single way
Respect me day by day

Don’t put me down
When you are out and about with people around
Playing me like a fool

Respect me sweet heart
Till life sets us apart

Respect my needs
Listen and take heed

Respect to me is what means love
And not those commonly spoken words,
‘I love you’

To respect me is to bread and butter my desire to be free
To respect me is to stand by me when I am weak.

***

All i am asking is "Do you respect the one whom you love". Or is it more that you are overwhelmed by your feelings.

All in all, it doesn't matter. I cannot change the way things are, the way things stand now.

All that i know, is that i am searching for you, and thus keeping the promise i made to myself.

Maybe one day we will see eye to eye.

And that day , i will finally ask you to find the courage to call me a Dog while you are standing in front of me .

... not hidden behind a fake name in a fake world...

I am keeping my part of the promise.....

Be safe , be good...

[Nebelstern]

..:: Fear. It is a strong word, with an even more powerful meaning. Fear is what can ruin lives. There is no other four letter word which brings so much chaos. So much havoc. Fear changes men, women, and kids all together. Fear keeps people from doing certain things in their life. Say the fear of heights. The fear of drowning. Maybe even the fear of animals. But most of all, probably the most effective fear today, the FEAR of other human beings.

To fear is a natural feeling. There are shows to accomadate to the fear of certain people. These shows amuse an audience by putting people through fearful situations. Never deadly, but the fear kicks in and produces a large amount of adrenaline. But the question that must be asked is this... What if someone didn't fear a thing. What if a person has learned how to harbor this feeling, and can convince his mind and body, that he fears nothing. That there is nothing bad enough, big enough, frightening enough to stop him.

Surely though, there is no one that is able to keep this impression of fear, is there? There really isn't anyone that can look fear in the eyes, and spit right back into its face? As long as there is something to be frightened of, then there will always be a need for fear. It is like a virus. One that feeds off from the reaction of frightened and scared people. Fear is a living and breathing thing, like it or not. The only thing that makes fear different, is that some of the time, fear can become physically, or emotionally overwhelming.

So what can be done from there on? When there is nothing left to do but give in to the pressure of fear, and let it run remapnt along your entire life. A deadly virus. So in closing, I ask you this... Do you completely understand what you fear? Do you know what scares you, or intimidates you? Once you invite fear into your life, it is there to stay, for who knows how long. SO invite the fear in to your home, and witness it first hand. Witness the change of your life, and lifestyle.

[Nebelstern]

Haiku.

Fallen sick on a journey,
In dreams I run wildly
Over a withered moor.

***

Harvest moon:
around the pond I wander
and the night is gone.

***

Without flowing wine
How to enjoy lovely
Cherry blossoms?

[Nebelstern]

No one travels
Along this way but I,
This autumn evening.

***
Covered with the flowers,
Instantly I'd like to die
In this dream of ours!

[ildushja]

Po shkruaj te abonohem ketu qe mos ta humb ket teme.

Te jap mendimet nga shtepia kur ti kem kryer leximet... besoj se do kenaqem... :)

[Nebelstern]

Never Good Enough


I?m never good enough
no matter what I do.
Hard working, playing matters not.
They turn from me to you.

I anticipate, try hard to please.
I do my very best.
Yet there they go,
one by one, at your slight behest.

The ache, it hits. I close my eyes.
I turn my head away.
Rebuffed again I bite my lip
To keep the tears at bay.

I gather up my self and pride,
withdrawing once again.
One more time I ask myself,
?My time will be when??

They never notice when I leave,
alert to other things.
Unobserved, I slip away.
No loss to them I bring.

I?m never good enough
no matter what I do.
In love, in work, in play or else,
that always seems the truth.

[ildushja]

E.

You are clearly, by far my favorite writer of all time.

C'do fjale qe shkruan me prek thelle, per cudi se kam lezuar shume shkrimtare qe shkruajn me shpirt e me zemer, por menyra si i thur ti kto vargje... wow.

[Nolird]

NO Integrity - from title I can see tha you gona write a good poetry and.......that's right.......Cool Brother keep writing another amazing poetry

I wish you Luck :)

[Nebelstern]

The Colors

Yellow happiness, lavender joy, sky blue
wonder and golden laughter splashed beautifully in
the pure white love that once filled my life.

Then the bold strokes of orange rejection,
green jealousy, brown denial and gray
depression turned the canvas to darkness.

Midnight blue emptiness now consumes me,
muddying the raging redness of unending pain.


E.K
2002

[P@R4nOi@C_LorD]

It would be better AlBANiAn , don`t you think so?

[Gurracake]

A nuk beson as se ne hene ka ecur njeriu, derisa ta bejsh vete?

[Gurracake]

Apo se ka nje vend me emrin Greenland, derisa te shkojsh vet? hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Nebelstern]

Patjeter Gurracake

Nuk besoj se njeriu ka shkuar ne hene , besoj se hena ka ardhur prane njeriut .

Po ti, ke qene ndonjehere ne RRUSHBULL ?

[Gurracake]

hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, oh me e ditur ti qe ne fakt as qe doja te shkruaj ne kete teme, por edin si eshte puna? Gabimisht e kam shkruar ketu. Doja qe kete tekst ta shkruaja ne nje rubrik tjeter.

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa