po qe se nuk e civilizonjne popullin forumist keto kurset intensive te Pilkes me Toron, rrezik pastaj do detyrohet Pat Roberts ta bisedoje kete pune me Zotin vete (if he heard the Lord right, that is)
po qe se nuk e civilizonjne popullin forumist keto kurset intensive te Pilkes me Toron, rrezik pastaj do detyrohet Pat Roberts ta bisedoje kete pune me Zotin vete (if he heard the Lord right, that is)
Tema e Kursit:" Te behesh inteligjente sa nje burre."(Pjesa e Katert)
Objektivi pedagogjik: Kurs formimi qe i ndihmon femrat te zhvillojne ate pjese te trurit te cilen injorojne.
Moduli I: Kursi Baze i detyrueshem.
1- Enderrat e tua qe nga mosha 5 vjec per martesen: Fantazi apo Skizofreni? (200 ore)
2- Te mesojme te mos mburremi tek shoqkat se i "tregon vendin" burrit. (350 ore)
3- Perse femrat kerkojne te martohen? (500 ore)
Moduli II: Jeta ne Cift
1-Mesime praktike:"Si te shpenzojme parate qe fiton burri?"(50 ore)
2- Ankthi dhe kepucet: Lidhja funksionale midis ankthit dhe blerjes se kepuceve.(5000 ore)
3- Mungesa e orgazmes tek femrat: "A eshte me te vertete fajtor burri apo ti je e "ftohte"?" (550 ore)
4- Si te mos blejme gjera, te cilat nuk na duhen(100 ore, ushtrime praktike me video)
5- Dallimi i fantazise tende te semure nga realiteti-nje e vertete e hidhur(500 ore)
7- Te pranosh qe femra asnjehere nuk di se cfare kerkon. (300 ore)
Moduli III: KOha e lire
1-Si te mos nderrojme fustanet si mbreti grate. (ushtrime praktike)
2-Pretendon se ke orgazem: Kujton se ai eshte i interesuar?(debat i hapur)
3-Si te mesojme te mos bejme pyetje retorike. (ushtrime praktike, 5000 ore)
Moduli IV: Kursi i Gatimit
Niveli fillestar: Pajisjet elektroshtepiake
1-ON= NDEZUR-------------------------OFF=FIKUR
2-Si te gatuajme ate qe do burri?(ushtrime praktike)
Niveli 2: Jane parashikuar ore ekstra trajnimi, per shkak te veshtiresise se temes, kurset do te jene maximumi me 2 nxenese ne nivelin fillestar.
Tema 1: Si te jesh gjithnje ne qejf per seks bashkeshortor.
Tema 2: Ti dhe ai: Si ti "nxehni gjerat" ne krevat( keshilla seksuale nga revista Cosmopolitan ( nga numri1 deri tek i fundit)
Tema 3: Zbulimi i fundit shkencor: Fellatio te heq dhimbjen e kokes.
Tema 4: Si te kuptojme qe "nxehja perpara sexit" nuk do te thote te vesh tenxheren ne zjarr.
Tema 5: Si te mos jesh egoiste .
Tema 6: Si te mos fantazojme per "Jude Law, Antonio Baderas" edhe pse nuk jemi martuar me nje te tille. (telekonference me University e Haward)
Tema 7: Te kuptosh qe jo cdo gje zgjidhet me nje vizite ne Mall (500 ore).
Tema 8: Te kuptosh qe grindja ne pergjithesi nuk nenkupton Komunikim.
Tema 9: Ndryshimet themelore midis shopping/window shopping/buying and paying. (part 2) (ushtrime ne laboorator)
Tema10: Si te kuptojme edhe praktikojme qe salloni eshte blere per perdorim te perditshem, jo per miqte qe vijne nje here ne vit (ushtrime me video)
Tema11: Si te zgjedhim makinen ne baze te funksionit qe ben, jo ne baze te ngjyres.
Tema 12: Te mesojme te mos grindemi vazhdimisht . ( 500 ore, ushtrime me video)
Tema13: Te mos lozim me burrin si macja me miun(ushtrime me video)
Tema14: Grate lindin femije: Akuzo perendine, jo burrin per kete!
Tema15: Cdo mashkull kerkon nga gruaja tre gjera: "Food, Sex , Silence"! A je ne gjendje ti besh? ( mesime praktike--Gjithe Jeten!)
Tema e Kursit:" Te behesh inteligjente sa nje burre."(Pjesa e Peste)
Objektivi pedagogjik: Kurs formimi qe i ndihmon meshkujt te zhvillojne ate pjese te trurit te cilen injorojne.
Moduli I: Kursi Baze i detyrueshem.
1- Enderrat per te qene Chuck Norris apo Rocky Malboa- Fantazi apo "Kerkim per Vetveten" (Reference filmi "Marko ne kerkim te Nenes" )(200 ore)
2- Perse meshkujt kane frike nga "martesa"? (Ref. Marie Claire) ( (500 ore)
Moduli II: Jeta ne Cift
1-Mesime praktike:"Si te pranojme "gruan si nje force punetore me te ardhurat e saj"?"(50 ore)
2- Makina dhe Ai: Te kuptojme qe "Makina nuk ka ndjenja".(5000 ore)
3- Mungesa e orgazmes tek femrat: Deshtimi i burrit ne detyrat e tija bashkeshortore! (550 ore)
4- Si te vendosim "vezet" siper "patateve" kur bejme pazar?(100 ore, ushtrime praktike me video)
5- Mos plotesimi i fantazive te gruas-perseri falimentim ne detyren ne krevat(500 ore)
7- Te kuptohet se mashkulli "i fryn fyellit ne te njejten vrime". (300 ore)
Moduli III: KOha e lire
1-Si te mesojme te ndajme plackat me ngjyre nga ato te bardha ne rast se gruaja mungon (Ref. filmi "I vetem ne shtepi") (ushtrime praktike)
2-Pretendon se ke orgazem:Nqs nuk i behet vone, atehere pse Mashkullit i vriten ndjenjat (e shtrenjta) nqs nuk e kenaq dot femren e tij?
3- Te kuptojme qe (Pika 2) detyron femrat per "genjeshtra te vogla", "pak ankth"
dhe "ndonjeher tradheti". Pra te kuptojme cdo veprim i femres eshte i Justifikuar. (debat i hapur)
3-"Video Games"- Te kuptojme ndryshimin midis virtualitetit dhe realiteti.. (ushtrime praktike dhe me video, 5000 ore)
Moduli IV: Kursi i Gatimit
Niveli fillestar: Pajisjet elektroshtepiake
1-ON= NDEZUR-------------------------OFF=FIKUR
2-Si te mesojme te mos japim urdhra dhe te hame cte na viret perpara.(ushtrime praktike)
Niveli 2: Jane parashikuar ore ekstra trajnimi, per shkak te veshtiresise se kuptimit te temes, kurset do te jene maximumi me 2 nxenese ne nivelin fillestar.
Shembuj Praktike
Martesa e pare:
Diten e pare te marteses burri i thote gruas: "Do te jem ne shtepi kur te dua, ne cilen ore te kem deshire dhe nuk pres asnje grindje nga ty. Pretendoj qe darka te jete gati, te kem menjane placka te lara. Do te dal me shoket per bilardo, ne lokal, ne party te ndryshme. Ke ndonje ankese?
Gruaja i thote burrit: "Jo, asnje. Vetem duhet te kuptosh qe cdo dite ne oren 7 te darkes ne shtepi do te kete sex...je apo sje ti.
Martesa e dyte:
Ne diten e pervjetorit te marteses nje cift bene sherr dhe burri i thote gruas:
"Si epitaf per ty do te jete "Ketu prehet gruaja ime-E ftohte si gjithnje"
Gruaja i pergjigjet: "Me verte? Une do te shkruaj: "Ketu prehet burri im!-Me ne fund "i forte" ( si mermeri) "
Martesa e Trete"
Pas nje sherri qe ne mengjez burri i thote gruas: "Nuk je edhe aq e mire ne krevat" dhe kercet edhe iken. Me vone, meqenese u ndie shume keq per ato fjale e merr ne telefon, i cili bie shume here. Me ne fund gruaja e irrituar pergjigjet dhe burri e pyet:
Burri: "Perse u vonove kaq gjate"
Gruaja: "Sepse isha ne krevat"
Burri: "Kaq heret, cpo beje?"
Gruaja: "Po merrja nje mendim te dyte!"
Martesa e Katert:
Babai i 6 femijeve ishte teper krenar per arritjet e tija, dhe filloi te therriste gruan "Mamaja e te Gjashteve". Ne nje mbremje tek fqinjet erdhi koha per tu larguar ai i thote: "Je gati per te ikur, "Mamaja e te Gjashteve" dhe ajo ja kthen: "Kur te jesh gati ti "Babai i te Katerve"
Nga shembujt mesiperm shpresoj (si pedagoge e kesaj lende) qe meshkujt te vene mend dhe te kuptojne qe:
Zoti vertet e krijoi mashkullin te parin, por gjithnje perpara kryevepres (Femra) duhet bere praktike ne nje Skice (mashkulli)
My whores left me no time to get married.
A Women's Guide To Male English
-- What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
-- I'm hungry = I'm hungry
-- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
-- I'm tired = I'm tired
-- What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
-- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
-- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
-- I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Man's Guide To Female English
-- We need to talk = I need to complain
-- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
-- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
-- We need = I want
-- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
-- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
-- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
-- You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
-- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
-- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
-- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
-- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
-- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
-- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
-- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
-- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
-- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
-- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
-- Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
-- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
-- Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
-- Yes = No
-- No = No
-- Maybe = No
-- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
-- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
-- Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
-- Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
-- All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
Men Are Like...
... Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.
... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
... Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
... Curling Irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.
... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.
... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
My whores left me no time to get married.
Needs of a Woman and needs of a man!
A man and woman are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up But then the lady stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The guy says "WHAT??"
The lady explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.
Then he realises that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the man takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.
She can't decide. He tells his woman to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each, then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.
The lady is so excited. She thinks her guy has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. He says "you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it."
The woman is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."
The man stops and says, "No, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
The woman's face goes blank.
He continues-"I just wanted you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode.
The guy says, "You need to be in tune with my financial needs as a Man".
UNDERSTANDING MEN
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a
real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but
will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more
outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
My whores left me no time to get married.
Pili nje pietje nga mbrapa kishnjam una:"Kur e ke kaq Ivan te Tmerrshem burrken, why dont you call a divorce lawyer?" It cheaper and more effective se keto kurset! :P
...edhe ankesat e tua ndaj gruas nuk ishin te pakta, per te mos thene ne shkallen e "Feminist: (lol)
My whores left me no time to get married.
Hihihihih si perfundim jetuar te lumtur e te gezuar bashke.....
Ore po ishit mire ju te dy nga fillimi tani sa vjen e po zbuteni pak!
Leje tashi nga fundi ja plaset anglisht fare!
Regullat e Postimit
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