Beckham jokes
Whats the difference between David Beckham and an Airfix Plane Kit?
Ones a Glue less Kit and the other one's a CUNT
Whats the difference between david beckham and posh spice?
Posh spice doesn't kick out when taken from behind
Beckham walks into a bar and the barman says, "Pint, David?"
"No", he replies, "just a half, then I'm off".
What do Posh Spice and the rest of England football team have in common?
They've both been f***ed by David Beckham...
These were suplied by Mike Taylor:
Snow White, Arnold Swcharzenegger and Saddam Hussein are having a conversation, Snow White say's "I am the most beautiful divine woman in the world, but how do I know?" Arnie says "I am hunkiest man in the world but how do I know?", Saddam says 'I'm the most despised person in the world but how do I know?". "I know" says Snow White "let's ask the Wise Man". So off they go.... Snow White comes out of the wise mans house and says "Yes it's true, I am the most beautiful divine woman in the world", Arnie comes out and says "Yes it's true I am hunkiest man in the world", Saddam comes out and says "Who's David Beckham?"
David Beckham is on top of the main stand at Old Trafford ready to jump off after a nightmare first half of the Premiership and World Cup campaign. He's lost the World Cup for England by getting himself sent off and everyone and his dog hates him, Posh Spice has dumped him for Michael Owen and United have put him on the transfer market for 10 quid because he's playing shite. As he's about to jump off Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder.
"Are you OK, David?" asks Father Christmas. David explains his life is a mess and gets ready to jump .........
"STOP!" shouts Father Christmas. "I'll grant you three wishes on the understanding that you do me a favor".
"That would be top!" says Beckham "Cheers, Father Christmas, thank you, thank you".
Father Christmas asks him for his three wishes:
1) In the Argentina match I don't kick the Argy but shoot from the freekick and score, and ENGLAND go on to win the World Cup and I'm a National hero.
2) I marry Posh Spice and live in happiness.
3) I'm made best footballer in the world by FIFA and my wages go up to a million a week.
"OK, I'll grant your three wishes after you've done my little favor" said Father Christmas.
"What do I have to" says Beckham. Father Christmas tells Beckham to drop his pants and bend over. After a brutal rogering, Father Christmas asks Beckham how old he is.
"24" replies Beckham
"Aren't you a bit old to believe in Father Christmas!!" laughs the fat, gay Man City fan.
What has david Beckam and ferero roche choclate's have in common?
They both come in posh boxes.
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