Adult Limericks

[Leila]

(Jo te krijuara nga une.)

Paralajmerim para se ta lexoni kete teme:

The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding--
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.

Kjo me terhoqi vemendjen ne nje liber qe bleva tek Barnes & Nobles:

An intelligent whore from Albania
Read books and grew steadily brainier.
Yet it wasn't her science
That brought her male clients
But her quite uncontrolled nymphomania.

[Leila]

A candid young girl named McMillan
Replied to an arrogant villain
Who leered, "Now I'll rape you."
"I cannot escape you;
But rape me you'll not, for I'm willin'."

[Leila]

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that's economical,
but the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

* * *

There was an old maid of Duluth
Who wept when she thought of her youth,
And the glorious chances
She'd missed at school dances;
And once in a telephone booth.

* * *

He hated to sew, so young Ned
Rang the bell of his neighbour instead;
But her husband said, "Vi,
When you stitched his torn fly,
There was no need to bite of the thread."

* * *

A housewife called out with a frown,
When surprised by some callers from town,
"In a minute or less
I'll slip on a dress."
But she slipped on the stairs and came down.

[Leila]

Kajamin e njohim prej THE RUBAYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM e perkthyer nga Fan Noli.
Prandaj edhe po e postoj kete limerick.

A luscious young maiden of Siam
Remarked to her lover, young Kayyam,
"If you take me, of course,
You must do so by force --
But, God knows, you're stronger than I am."

* * *

Kjo tjetra s'ka te beje me Kajamin. Thjesht per vajzat qe veshin syze.

An observant young man of the West
Said, "I've found out by personal test
That men who make passes
At girls who wear glasses
have just as fun as the rest." :D

[amaro]

Paralajmerim para se ta lexoni kete teme: (jo te krijuara nga une)

[nimf]

A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd just take a chance.
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.


There was a young girl from Berlin
Who was born so uncommonly thin
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.


There was a young lady named Bright,
whose speed was much faster than light.
She set off one day
in a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.



There was a young lady of Trent,
Who said that she knew what it meant
When men asked her to dine
With cocktails and wine,
She knew what it meant—but she went.


ps: i oddly enjoy these : )

[Leila]

lol, jane te vjetra, nje novelty e viteve 50, kur dilnin playboy te pikturuara, vajzat e Elvgren, ne i mban mend. Elvgren ishte legjende, ne ato dite. Benin edhe disa kalendare me keto vajza pin-ups dhe me limericks te tilla per secilin muaj te vitit apo secilen vajze.

Keto me poshte i gjeta ne internet, dhe autoret qe i kane shpikur/sjelle thjesht shkruajne emrin e pare. S'mund te them me siguri prejardhjen e ketyre limericks te meposhtme.


Ed
by Hannah

There one was a man named Ed
Who had a king size bed
He wore all brown clothes
Showered with a hose
And had all the girls in his head

Clive
by Bubba

There once was a fellow named Clive
Who always enjoyed a Muff Dive
After only four Beers
He could breathe through his Ears
And that kept his sex life alive

Woman from Norway
by Dave

There once was a woman from Norway
Who hung by her toes in the doorway
She said to her groom
who walked into the romm
I think I found us a new way.


Hugs and Kisses
by John Meyers

Despite all the Hugs and Kisses,
She wouldn't comply with his wishes
"I won't play with your thing,
Until I have a ring,"
But he's happy 'cause now she's his Mrs.

Only Kisses
by johne3797

There was a young man from Narcissus,
Who married a beautiful Mrs.
But due to unfortunate lore,
He lost his head in a war......
And now she just settles for kisses! (:D lol)

Riley O'Ray
by Gulo Gulo Bear Dog

An Irishman, Riley O'Ray
Went years without having a lay.
His sex life amiss
That he had to sit down to piss
Because his Johnson had withered away.

One Margarita
by Anonymus

There is a young girl in Golita
Who gets drunk on just one margarita
And what she will do
When she has had two
Let me tell you, it's worth it to treat her

The Monk
by Vishvananda Ishaya

There once was a monk from Tibet
Who said to a woman he met,
"You may find this odd,
But I'm one with God,
and HE wants to fondle your set!"

[*~Rexhina~*]

lol interesting, hmm somehow when i read this last one... i thought of Cantebury Tales,

[nimf]

There once was a man from Kildare
Who was screwing his wife on the stair.
When the Bannister broke
He quickened his stroke
And finished her off in mid air.


There was a fair maiden of Exeter,
So pretty that guys craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave
As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.


There once was an old man of Lyme,
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, "Why the third?"
He said, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."


There was a young fellow named Hall
Who fell in a spring in the Fall.
T'would have seen a sad thing,
had he died in the Spring,
But he didn't—he died in the fall.

:)

ps: se di kush i ka shkruar!

[amaro]

mi perktheni pak se nuk du me dal jashte teme!

eshte nje vajze me emrin arta
nuk eshte gjo po bo si e bukur.
sa here qe shkon ne palester,
thone per te qe leviz neper vegla si flutur.


ira quhet dhe naten ka shume fantazi
kur leviz shume perplas koken gjithmone te muri,
nuk e ka problem sepse ka qef te vije si bishe,
eshte e zorshme, kur e kujtoj me dridhen mishte.