Gjate konfliktit ne Irak, televizionet amerikane bene nje pasqyre te jetes se Sadam Husein dhe nje prej fakteveqe dolen per te, ishte se gruaja e tij e pare, ishte ne te njejten kohe kusherira e tij e pare. Pra kishin lidhje gjaku me njeri-tjetrin.
Me vone mesova qe kjo eshte nje praktike qe e gjejme ne mbare boten arabe tek besimtaret Suni. Pyetja ime per besimtaret muslimane eshte:
Eshte kjo nje praktike ethnike arabe apo fetare muslimane?
Cfare shkruhet ne Kuran per kete?
Albo
Sduan tia kalojne pasurine te tjereve ....Tallem tallem , do isha edhe une shume kurioze te dija pergjigjen e kesaj pyetjeje , sepse mu duk shume interesante ...
Tani, e kam thene disa here: BENI DALLIMIN MES ARABE DHE MUSLIMAN.
Arabet jane vetem 20% tte Muslimaneve te Botes dhe nuk jane shumica Suni, por ka dhe Shiaj sic jane ne Iran, Irak (nje pjese e madhe) etj.
Nese ne Arabi ka qene dhe vazhdon te jete tradite martesa mes fisit, kjo s'ka te beje me fene. Nuk di te jete pjese e Islamit martesa me fisin, sepse Islami si parim e ka shendetin dhe higjienen, e eshte e vertetuar shkencerisht qe martesat fisnore, nuk jane shume te shendosha.
Arabet ekzistojne edhe para Islamit, dhe para ardhjes se Islamit ishin shoqeri patriarkale e organizuar keq. Nese e shikoni nje film qe flet mbi lindjen e Islamit dhe Arabine e periudhes Pre dhe Post Muhamediane, vereni traditat e Arabave politeiste, te ngjajshme me keto te arabeve muslimane.
Islami s'ka te beje me martesat fisnore. Arabet, ndoshta Po.
p.s. Filmi quhet "The message" me aktor Anthony Queen. E gjeni ne cdo Blockbuster apo video-dyqan ne Amerike dhe gjetiu.
Edhe cifutet e kane praktike te ditur kete martesen brenda fisit. Sic e di une... domosdo, sic tha dhe Flavia80,
Ndoshta e kane praktike andej si Lindje e Mesme, te gjithe bashke.
In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for that's how heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Keto te meposhtemet jane mare nga 2-3 faqet e para te internetit mbi martesen brenda fisit ne islam. Mendoj se e sqaron fare mire se martesa brenda fisit nuk eshte tipike Arabe po Myslimane ne pergjithesi dhe Islami e inkurajon ne gje te tille. Po qe se nuk ju mjaftojne faqet e meposhtme beni nje search te shpejte ne yahoo dhe gjeni mjaft faqe bindse per sa u tha me lart. Sa per sqarim, postimet jane mare nga faqe myslimane:
Marre nga
Shife Kete
Although most Muslim marriages are arranged even today this does not mean that marriages are forced upon young people. What it does mean is that parents and senior relatives often discuss various possibilities, yet all the while consulting the person involved. This allows them, over a period of time, to assess the weaknesses and strengths of the future partner. In Islam both partners must clearly and before witnesses agree to be married; no one can be coerced into marriage. Usually marriages take place within the extended family or even the same ethnic or tribal group. It is difficult in such marriages for husbands to be mean or cruel to their wives because husband and wife are related and such behaviour would cause adverse comment in the family. After all the uncles and aunts of the wife would also be the uncles and aunts of the husband. Arranged marriages are perhaps one of the reasons why Muslim marriages are so stable (sa qesharake te krenohesh me dicka te tille, e trajtoj mire nusen se e kam kusheri ). There are few comparative statistics but many young Muslims even in the West enthusiastically support the notion of arranged marriages, particularly in the light of the high statistics of divorce in the West.
Mare nga
Shife kete
Girls' Nightmare in Muslim Families:
Every year, many thousands of young girls, living in Muslim inhabited communities in European countries face forced marriages. In Muslim immigrant families, often from the Middle East, North Africa and Turkey, teenage girls are struggling against the pressure of tribal culture and Islamic customs imposed on them by their parents; and forced marriage is often their fate.
A women group against sexual mutilation of women, formed in 1980s in France, estimates that more than 30,000 young girls have been involved in forced marriage since 1990. In Britain, south Asian women groups have records of numerous cases of young girls who have been forced to marry by their parents.
This nightmare started in 1990s, when young girls from Muslim immigrant families in Europe reached their early teenage years and were considered mature and marriageable by their parents. Teenage girls from Turkish immigrant families are especially under intense pressure. According to statistics provided by women groups in France and Britain, in 1990s, 43% of girls from Turkish families, and 36% of girls from South Asian families in Britain, have been involved in forced marriages.
Forced marriage is a taboo, untouchable, and is performed secretly. The secret is revealed when the girl suddenly behaves strangely, gets isolated and is not doing well at school. She often breaks the silence and talks about her painful ordeal with a friend or some teacher at school. In this way, she unveils the bitter reality that is awaiting her. Once the forced marriage becomes known outside the family, the real fight starts. Zahia Hasan, chair of a women association; "Women's Voice" in France, and a victim of forced marriages says: " it is a painful experience, it was a nightmare for me for many years. I was deeply ashamed, I lied about my life and hid my misery"
Girls, who reveal the terrible secret outside family, often clash with their parents and leave home. They even feel ashamed and guilty of revealing the secret and having betrayed their families and relatives. Many young girls under a heavy family and community pressure undergo forced marriage because they don't want to lose their families and relatives. Forced marriage is their inevitable fate, because there is no government or social support network to protect their rights. Forced marriages are practiced in France, Britain, Scandinavian countries and among Turkish community in Germany.
Early marriage is another aspect of forced marriages. Girls, 15 or younger, undergo forced marriages, are considered as part - times wives, continue to live with their parents and go to school, living with their dark and heavy secret.
In most cases, these marriages end to divorce; according to statistics; two out of three. Rape, teenage pregnancy, disrupted education; nervous breakdown, neurological disorders and suicide are all fruits of forced marriages for young girls. But, their families insist that their act is decent and good for the girls. They defend it by referring to Islam and Islamic Law; according to which, a girl cannot marry without the consent of her father, and in the absence of her father, that of her paternal grandfather. These families, not only haven't been affected by advanced and modern culture in Europe, but also are out of tune with the current situation in their countries of origin, where social and cultural norms and values have moved forward. By marrying their young girls in this way, Muslim parents try to block the integration of their daughters into a modern and European life style. As a result, parents deprive their own children of enjoying the civil rights and individual freedom entitled to them. They harm their children physically, emotionally and psychologically.
Under French law, a forced marriage can be annulled if there has been lack of consent. But if the marriage ceremony is a customary one, the French courts cannot act. However, magistrates can intervene before a marriage takes place if an underage girl, who has broken with her family, is in physical danger.
Under the guise of respecting 'others' traditions and Islamic values, the legal system and authorities tend to overlook forced marriages. They say: "there are customs and religion, which are different from those, practiced here. It is not for us to judge these traditions and religion, unless the young girls are in physical danger and there should be proof for that."
Consider a young girl under legal age, undergoing the ordeal of a forced marriage, clashing with her family, without a legal help or a supporting social network, who must provide proof against her own parents in the court, in order to get rid of this nightmare. Isn't it inhumane and shameful? What is respectable in this misery imposed on these innocent young girls? What is respectable in destroying and wasting lives, hopes and dreams of these girls? And of course, both 'Western' and Eastern 'intellectuals', shamelessly, tell us that "to talk of forced marriages is an Euro - centric way of looking at things."
Young girls in Muslim inhabited communities in Europe are victims of tribal and Islamic values and traditions, as well as a racist treatment by government authorities, intellectuals and mainstream media. These girls are born and have grown up in European countries, and should be entitled to all rights and freedom like other European citizens. Forced marriages must be prohibited by law as rape; and mental and emotional damages to teenage girls.
Girls from Muslim families are not the belongings of their families; they should be treated as equal citizens. The governments and the legal system must protect them from the harm caused by their parents. Society is duty bound to help the victims of forced marriages to recover from the emotional, mental and physical damages they suffer.
Me thoni pastaj po deshet qe nuk eshte fe barbare
Postimi i mesiperm nuk shpreh detyrimisht opinionin e autorit mbi temen e ngritur.
ha ha haPostuar mė parė nga R2T
Me thoni pastaj po deshet qe nuk eshte fe barbare
po flet gjepura, me duket...
Ndryshuar pėr herė tė fundit nga MtrX : 04-09-2003 mė 19:05
MtrX ubicumque felix
A s'eshte e vertete qe shume tradita etnike te popujve te Lindjes se Mesme, vendi ku edhe lindi Islami, jane inkorporuar edhe ne kete fe? Ndoshta keshtu eshte dhe me martesen brenda familjes. Nuk di qe ndonje shqiptar apo boshnjak, ( po ze muslimanet qe i kemi pak me afer) ta kete praktike te familjes kete fenomen. A thuhet ne Kuran nje gje e tille?
Jo per martesen me detyrim (biles per ate mund te gjesh pak shqiptare nga zonat rurale qe jua bejne vajzave jo nga Islami por nga prapambetja/varferia, kujtoni "14 vjec dhender" te Cajupit-familje ortodokse), por ekzaktesisht po flasim per martesen brenda familjes/fisit.
P.sh. pershtypja ime nga c'kam degjuar nga profesore amerikane, eshte se dhe velloja e gruas ne Islam eshte nje tradite e atyre popujve qe ka ekzistuar shume me perpara se vete Islami. Ja nje artikull per mbulimin e kokes se gruas... Nuk eshte nje artikull qe trajton konkretisht martesen brenda fisit po thjesht ka referenca se si velloja e femres ne islam eshte asimiluar ne kete fe nga kultura e popujve ku lindi Islami. Hipoteza ime eshte qe ashtu duhet te jete edhe me keto martesat brenda fisit per te cilat jini duke aluduar dhe ju, edhe pse s'e kisha degjuar me pare. Sidoqofte, thjesht ishte artikull interesant.
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Copyright 2001 Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service
Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service
Seattle Times
October 23, 2001, Tuesday
HEADLINE: Interpreting veils: Meanings have changed with politics, history
BYLINE: By Eli Sanders
BODY:
To many Western eyes, the Muslim veil is not an innocent piece of cloth.
It is a symbol of women's oppression, a metaphor for Islam's inscrutability, a way of identifying those who don't share "our" values.
These ideas have been projected onto the veil for ages, and were clinging to it long before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Since the colonial era _ and perhaps ever since it was first donned _ the veil has been defined more by the imaginations of those viewing it than by the voices of those wearing it.
But with the new focus on Islam and terrorism, the imagined meanings of the veil have made Muslim women targets. In cities in Australia, England, Canada and the United States, veil-wearing Muslim women have reported being harassed, attacked and insulted.
The anger directed at them has left those beneath the veils feeling saddened and misunderstood.
They are being defined, they feel, by a piece of clothing they proudly wear but whose meaning to others they cannot control _ whose meaning, in fact, they don't even agree on among themselves.
It is impossible to say exactly what the veil means. Its use predates Islam. Its many forms and styles are as diverse as the myriad peoples and cultures that have adopted the religion. And its significance has never been static or monolithic.
Instead, the veil and its meanings are constantly evolving and changing, often the subject of intense debate and political agendas, and always buffeted by the tides of history and individual preference.
The difficult relationship between Westerners and the veil often begins at the basic level of language.
In English, the word "veil" has mostly negative connotations, bringing to mind ideas of concealment and obfuscation.
In addition, English speakers in the West tend to use the word "veil" broadly to refer to all Muslim headcoverings, which diminishes our ability to differentiate between the many types, some of which involve no veil at all.
Muslims use Arabic and Persian words to make these distinctions clear.
The word hijab, which in classical Arabic means simply to cover or screen, is used by American Muslims to refer to all types of headscarves, and by Middle Easterners to refer to the tight, white headscarves favored by many younger Muslim women. The word nikab refers to face veils. And the word for full-body coverings varies from region to region.
In Saudi Arabia, the full-body cloak is called the abaya. In Iran, a similar cloak is called the chador. In Afghanistan, the full body and face covering is called the burka.
The origin of veiling is unknown, but scholars agree it existed long before Islam. Some 4,000 years ago, in the ancient civilizations of Mesopotamia, women wore veils, said Paula Holmes-Eber, professor of anthropology and Middle East studies at the University of Washington.
More than two millennia later, when Islam arose in the seventh century C.E., the religion absorbed local veiling practices into its culture.
And at first, Holmes-Eber said, even among Muslims the idea of the veil was less about religion than it was about class.
In the dry, desert plains of what is now Saudi Arabia, where Islam was born, nomadic and rural women were too busy working to be bothered with something so impractical as a face veil. But in the urban centers where Islam later took hold, veiling was seen as a sign of privilege _ a luxury afforded women who did not have to work.
In the Koran, the Muslim holy book, there are only vague references to the need for headcoverings and humility before God, but no description of what form this should take.
"It's so unspecific that those who interpret it the most richly can walk around wearing these things that look like black sacks, and then on the other hand there are devout Muslims who don't cover their hair at all," said Samia El-Moslimany, a Seattle woman who wears the hijab.
As with many ancient religions, the right to interpret the rules of Islam was in the past mostly given to men, who over the years divined some forms of head and body covering for women that are far more elaborate than El-Moslimany thinks necessary.
"I think that a big part of it is that the books have been interpreted in a very, very male-oriented way," she said.
When she is in Seattle, El-Moslimany's hijab takes the form of a loose headscarf that covers her hair and neck but not her face. It is tied beneath her chin in a manner so sturdy she has worn it water-skiing.
But for the nine months of every year that El-Moslimany spends in Saudi Arabia, she must also wear an abaya, the loose robe that women in that country are expected to wear when going outside.
In America, El-Moslimany chooses to wear the hijab because it identifies her as a Muslim and because it allows her more control over how men treat her. In Saudi Arabia, she wears the abaya because "that society has decided that this is the norm."
But just because the abaya is the norm doesn't mean Saudi women lack ways to express regional differences and individuality.
These days the abaya in Saudi Arabia comes in different colors, designer fashions and with detailed embroidery.
In Egypt, a country that does not require headcoverings, it would not be hard to find a family in which the different generations display the nation's wide variety of veiling practices.
In such a family, the grandmother might be too illiterate to even read the Koran, but because of tradition would wear a scarf called a mandil ( mandila i thone shamise edhe ne greqisht
"A woman wearing a veil could be living in a hovel, with six children who have died and no education," Holmes-Eber said. "Or she could be a minister in the government with a $200,000 income and a fancy car."
Muslim veils and body coverings, like all types of fashion, are constantly evolving despite recent efforts to dictate their one true and proper form in a small minority of Muslim countries.
Iran began requiring women to wear the chador after the 1979 Islamic revolution. Saudi Arabia requires women to wear the abaya outdoors under penalty of arrest. In Afghanistan, the Taliban regime forces women to don the burka.
Many Muslim women in these countries chafe under the restrictions and often resist them by wearing makeup or Western clothing under the body coverings.
Most Middle Eastern countries have no laws requiring veiling, and in fact, in Tunisia, veiling is illegal.
But that doesn't mean that in countries without veiling laws, women aren't pressured to veil. Among fundamentalist and very conservative Muslim men, there is a tendency to expect women to cover their heads.
However, that tendency has to be seen in the context of the rapid modernization and increased Western influences affecting cultures across the Muslim world, writes Moroccan sociologist Fatima Mernissi in the 1987 edition of her book, "Beyond the Veil."
"The fundamentalist wave is about identity," she writes. "Their call for the veil for women has to be looked at in light of the painful but necessary and prodigious reshuffling of identity that Muslims are going through."
The profound cultural changes brought about by women's increasing access to education and positions of power, Mernissi contends, are still being worked through.
"To understand the fanatic rejection of women's liberation in the Muslim world," Mernissi writes, "one has to take into account the time factor. Most of us educated women have illiterate mothers.
"The conservative wave against women in the Muslim world," she continues, is "a defense mechanism against profound changes in both sex roles and the touchy subject of sexual identity."
Still, many Westerners see the veil as simply backward, anti-feminist and oppressive.
Scholars and Muslims counter that there has long been a certain amount of hypocrisy in this view.
During the 18th and 19th centuries, when European powers colonized much of the Muslim world, the need to free veiled Muslim women from oppression was often cited as a justification for colonialist actions.
But, as anthropologist Dawn Chatty has pointed out, the colonists themselves were rarely proponents of women's liberation back home.
In one example, Chatty notes that a staunch British colonialist who promoted the "liberation" of Egyptian women was, back home, a member of the Men's League for Opposing Women's Suffrage.
Such apparent contradictions continue to this day.
For example, Western bridal veils have their origins in the Mediterranean tradition of female seclusion and arranged marriages (ne mesdhetaret dmth. duke perfshire dhe shqiptaret/arbereshet ma merr mendja. A s'e detyroi Skenderbeu te motren te martohej jo me ate qe donte ajo, per interesat e mbreterise?
"We in the West clearly find veiling offensive," Holmes-Eber said. "Which is very bizarre because we don't find it offensive that nuns walk around in essentially the same clothing."
El-Moslimany adds that she thinks the veil is "actually a very feminist ideal."
Many of her friends, she said, see the hijab as a source of freedom from oppressive male advances.
"I can tell you, I look a whole lot better with my hair showing," she said.
But in her work as a photographer, she said, wearing the hijab helps to keep her dealings with men "on a professional level."
"I choose whom I want to deal with on a sexual level," she said. "It's an equalizer to me."
After the terrorist attacks, however, it was less an equalizer than an identifier, and El-Moslimany began wearing her hijab differently out of fear.
She tied it in a more Western style, covering it with a straw hat.
She warned her mother not to cover her hair. A friend in Arizona told of having her hijab ripped off.
It was only in the past few days, after time had passed and the anger had subsided, that El-Moslimany went back to wearing the hijab as she normally does _ over her head, loosely, in the way that best expresses her sense of self.
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Sigurisht qe ajo qe desha te vertetoja me lart eshte thjesht hipoteza ime, mirepres ndonje kundershtim/korrigjim nese ka.
Ndryshuar pėr herė tė fundit nga angeldust : 04-09-2003 mė 22:27
In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for that's how heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Albo, pse nuk lexon Kur'anin dhe e shuan menjehere kete kureshtje. Per mendimin tim ja vlen ta lexosh.
ASD, derisa nje praktike e tille ekziston ne rradhet e arabeve dhe duke qene se ata jane muslimane shumica, do te thote qe feja islame e toleron dicka te tille. Prandaj une desha te mesoja me shume se cfare shkruhet ne Kuran per te. Thjeshte kureshtje e nje te krishteri qe e ka te ndaluar nje gje te tille ne fene e tij.
Armando, duhet qe te te pelqejne frutat e nje peme qe ta marresh e mbjellesh ne pragun e shtepise tende. Po nuk te pelqyen frutat, askush nuk e merr mundimin te beje dicka te tille.
Albo
"Babai i shtetit ėshtė Ismail "Qemali", e zbuloi Edvin shkencėtari!"
tek gjithe popujt e pare qe zoti ka derguar profete kjo praktike ka qene e lejuar si te hebrenjte dhe tek pasuesit e hershem kristjan dhe kete nuk mund ta mohoj kush se vete veja kristjane ka ardhur nga lindja dhe kjo praktikohej ne ato vende
para se zoti te dergonte profetin e tij te fundit bota arabe qe zhytyr ne nje injorance imoralitet dhe idhujtari te shume te shemtuar sepse kishte perj njerezve qe martoheshin me njerz shume te aferm sic e permend ajeti i meposhtem
ne kuran ne lidhje me kete teme kemi fjalen e All llahut
4:23.
U janė ndaluar juve (tė martoheni me): nėnat tuaja, bijat tuaja, motrat tuaja, hallat tuaja, tezet tuaja, bijat tuaja, bijat e motės, nėnat tuaja qė ju kanė dhėnė gji, motrat nga gjiri, nėnat e grave tuaja (vjehrrat) dhe vajzat qė janė nėn kujdesin tuaj e tė lindura (prej tjetėr babai) nga gratė tuaja me tė cilat patėt kontakt, e nėse nuk ken pasur kontakt me to (me gratė), atėherė s'ka pengesė (tė martoheni me ato vajza), dhe (janė tė ndaluara) gratė e bijve tuaj qė janė tė lindjes suaj (jo tė bijėve tė afoptuar), dhe tė bashkoni (pėrnjeherė nė njė niqah) dy motra, pėrpos asaj qė ka kaluar. Vėrtetė, All-llahu falė shumė, ėshtė mėshirues i madh.
kjo eshte ndalesa ne lidhje me te afermit qe zoti ndalo per muslimanet
lind pyetja po te afermit e tjere si psh goca e xhait, e dajes e halles etj/.
keto jo se jane te ndaluara per martese por largimi prej tyre eshte me i dobishem me shpqerine islame
per kete kemi argumenet fjalen e profetit qe lajmeroi muslimanet
"largouni nga martesa brenda farefisit se femijet e tyre lindin me probleme"
Islami nuk e lejon nje gje te tille, aq sa lejon Krishterimi hakmarrjen ne shoqerine shqiptare. Ta zeme se te gjithe shqiptaret jane te Krishtere. Dhe si gjithmone, elementi hakmarres eshte i pranishem.
Mirepo Bibla thote mos vrisni njerez. Meqe tani shqiptaret jane te krishtere shumica, dhe ka hakmarrje e vrasje qe vazhdojne tani me shekuj, duhet te themi se e lejon Krishterimi?
Jo, s'e besoj. Nje gje e tille ishte tradite e arabeve shume shekuj dhe mileniume para Islamit. Derisa nuk thuhet gje per te ne Islam, arabe te caktuar mund ta interpretojne si "perderisa nuk ka gje kunder ne Kur'an, mund ta bejme".
Prandaj, duhet lexuar Kur'ani se aty ka pergjigje per shume gjera per te cilat nje i Krishtere mund te jete i interesuar.
Nje teme e ngjashme ka qene tashme ne forum dhe pat ngritur mjaft pluhur. Besoj se nuk eshte e nevojshme kjo te perseritet.
Martesa brenda fisit ka edhe ne Ameriken Latine ku shumica jane katolike, por kjo lidhet me kulturen e tyre e jo me religjionin, njejte sikur disa tradita arabe qe kane rrenje para islamizmit.
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge.
Edhe ne itali ashu u kan pas martu, mrena fisit.
Pranej ka dal ajo shprehja, meqe te kam fis, po ta qis.
S'ka te boje me fene fare, ka te beje me zakonet lokale.
Qetesi!
Shoket lexojne!
Une mendoj qe keto lloj martesash kane te bejne me njerezit dhe me traditrat e tyre .(Bashkohem me mendimin e Asd ku thote qe Arabet nuk perfaqesojne te gjithe muslimanet e botes .)
Kjo nuk ka te beje me fene muslimane.......keshtuqe ju lutem disave te mos perdorin fene muslimane si shembull sa here qe doni te tregoni te metat e nje populli , pse feja muslimane ka lindur ne vendet arabe , kjo nuk i ben ata njerez perfekte , fundja atje ka lindur edhe Jezusi ..........nejse u zgjata shume , ma beni hallall........
Ndryshuar pėr herė tė fundit nga shkodrane82 : 06-09-2003 mė 03:22
MARTESA ESHTE ZGJEDHJE
Me ligjin e saj tė lartė feja Islame ka paraqitur para ēdo njėrit (tė fejuarit e tė fejuarės) rregulla dhe norma tė caktuara. Nėqoftėse njerėzit bazohėn nė udhėzimet e Tij dhe ecin nė rrugėn e Tij atėherė martesa do tė ishte nė njė shkallė tė lartė kuptimi tė dashurisė dhe marrėveshjes qė do tė formonte familja me djem dhe vajza, me njė besim tė lartė tė ndėrsjelltė, me moral tė fortė, trup tė shėndoshė, mentalitet tė pjekur dhe shpirt tė pastėrt dhe tė qetė.
Ja pra rregullat dhe vėndimet mė kryesore:
Zgjedhja e bashkėshortės me bazė tė fortė fetare:
Kur themi fetare e kemi qėllimin te kuptimi i vėrtetė pėr Islamin dhe praktikimi i vlerave dhe edukatės sė tij tė lartė. Qėllimin e kemi edhe te pėrmbajtja e plotė tė sistemit tė sheriatit dhe parimeve tė tij jė pėrgjithshme. Kur tė jenė nė nivel tė lartė tė kuptimit, tė praktikimit dhe pėrmbajtjes tė rregullave Islame, atėherė do tė quhėn besimtarė tė moralshėm, ndėrsa kur njėri prej tyre nuk ėshtė nė kėtė shkallė tė kuptimit, praktikimin dhe pėrmbajtjes sė rregullave tė Islamit, atėherė nėnkuptohet qė ai ėshtė i devijuar, moralprishur dhe largė Islamit, sado qė tė paraqitet para njerėzve se ėshtė i mirė, devotshėm dhe besimtarė i fortė. Lidhur me kėtė, ata qė duan tė martohen i udhėzon edhe Muhammedi alejhisselam, qė tė zgjedhin burrin ose gruan me besim Islam, qė gruaja ti kryej obligimret ndaj burrit, fėmijėve dhe shtėpisė.
Transmeton Buhariu, Muslimi dhe tė tjerėt nga Ebu Hurejra (Zoti qoftė i kėnaqur me tė) se Muhammedi a.s. ka thėnė: "Femrėn e martojnė katėr gjėra: pasuria, nderi familjarė, bukuria dhe feja. Zgjidhe fetarėn, tė lumtė!"
Nga ana tjetėr, pejgamberi a.s. i udhėzon pėrgjegjėsit (prindėrit) qė bijės ti kėrkojnė njė bashkėshortė fetarė dhe tė moralshėm, pėr ti kryer detyrimet ndaj familjes, bashkėshortės dhe fėmijėve. Poashtu tė ruajė nderin me gjelozi dhe tė kujdesėn pėr nevojat e pėrgjithshme tė shtėpisė (familjės).
Transmeton Termilliu nga Muhammedi a.s., ku thuhet: "Nėse vjen te ju ndonjė djalė tė cilit ja pelqeni fenė dhe moralin martojeni, e nėqoftėse nuk e bėni kėtė (dmth. Nuk e martoni vajzėn tuaj me tė) do tė bėhet trazirė dhe rrėmujė e madhe mbi tokė".
A ka gjė mė tė keqe se femra tė bierė nė kthetrat e njė tė fejuari ateist e tė pamoralshėm, i cili nuk e pėrfill para bashkėshortės as farefisin, as marrėveshjėn, ashtu siē nuk i kushton rėndėsi nderit, gjelozisė, besnikėrisė dhe familjės?
A ka mynxyrė (tė keqe) mė tė madhe se gruaja besimtare tė jetė nė kthetrat e njė burri tė shthurur e tė pamoralshėm, i cili e detyron atė tė zhvishet dhe tė shoqėrohet me burra tė huaj, tė konsumoj alkool dhe tė vallėzojė me tė huaj, tė largohet nga pėrgjegjėsia e fesė dhe e moralit?
Sa femra muslimane qė kanė qenė shembuj tė nderit e pastėrtisė, fatkeqėsishtė kur shkojnė nė njė shtėpi tė amoralshmish dhe tė njė burri tė shfrenuar, nėn ndikimin e tij bėhen gra tė pamoralshme, qė nuk u kushton rėndėsi parimeve tė vlefshme, pikpamjeve pėr nderin dhe pastėrtinė! Ska dyshim se prej tyre do tė lindin e do tė rritėn fėmijėt qė do tė bėhėn tė pamoralshėm, pėrveē nė rastet kur gjendet ndonjė njeri qė i nxjerrė nga ajo vorbull e ēroditjes dhe i udhėzonė nė dhėn e drejtė. Pra zgjedhja e femrės me baza fetare dhe morale ėshtė njė prej kushteve mė tė rėndėsishme qė do tu sigurojė bashkėshorteve harmoni tė plotė, fėmijėve edukim tė mirė, ndėrsa familjes nder dhe stabilitet tė duhur.
Zgjedhja e bashkėshortes nga njė familje e fisme dhe e ndershme:
Njė nga rregullat e Islamit pėr zgjedhjen e shokut (shoqes) tė jetės ėshtė qė bashkėshortja tė jetė nga njė familje fisnike dhe e dėgjuar pėr mirėsi, nder e moral, pėr shkak se njėrėzit janė burim i sė mirės dhe i sė keqės; dikush ėshtė i ndreuar e dikush i poshtėruar, dikush i moralshėm e dikush i pamoralshėm. Me tė vėrtetė nė ndryshimine cilėsive ka aludura Muhammedi a.s., kur thotė:
" Njerėzit dallohen sipas tė mirės dhe tė keqes, siē dallohen edhe metalet; ai ka qenė i pajisur me virtyte tė mira nė kohėn e injorancės, i gėzon po ashtu edhe nė Islam, nėse i praktikon rregullat e Islame". (transmeton Tajalisiu, Ibnu Meni-i dhe Askeriu )
Pėr kėtė shkak Muhhamedi a.s. porosit ēdonjėrin qė do tė martohet qė ta zgjedhė bashkėshorten me baza tė shėndosha tė nderit dhe mirėsisė.
Ja disa hadithe tė pejgamberit a.s. lidhur me kėtė:
Transmeton Daru Kutniu, Askeriu dhe Ibnu Adiu nga Ebu Said El-Huderi, ku thuhet se Muhammedi a.s. ka thėnė: "Ruhuni nga barishtet e plehut!" As-habėt thanė se ēka janė ato barishte plehu. Muhammedi a.s. tha: "Gruaja e bukur nė rrethin e prishur".
Transmeton Ibnu Maxhe, daru Kutniu dhe Hakimi nga Aishja (Zoti qoftė i kėnaqur me tė ) nė njė hadith Merfuė: "Kėrkoni gra tė mira dhe fisnike, se prejardhja trashėgohet".
Transmeton Ibnu Adiju dhe Ibnu Asakiri nga Aishja (Zoti qoftė i kėnaqur me tė) gjithashtu nė njė hadith Merfuė:
"Kėrkoni pėr martesė gra tė mira dhe fisnike, sepse ato lindin (fėmijė) tė ngjashėm me vėllezėrit dhe motrat e tyre" Nė njė transmetim tjetėr: "Kėrkoni vende tė volitshme pėr martesė se ndoshta fėmija ngjet nga dajallarėt e tij". Transmeton Ibnu Adiju nė librin e tij "El-Kamil", nė njė hadith Merfuė: "Martohuni me njė vajzė familjare se prejardhja trashėgohet".
Krejt kėto hadithe i udhėzojnė ata qė dėshirojnė tė martohen, qė gratė ti zgjidhen nga njė rreth i mrė, tė kenė prejardhje nga stėgjyshėr tė lavdėruar e bujarė.
Ndoshta kėtu qėndron e fshehta qė me kėtė bashkėshort tė lindin fėmijė tė ndershėm, tė pajisur me moral Islam qė, nga nėnat sė bashku me qumėshtin e vlefshėm qė thithin, tė edukohen mirė dhe me moral tė shėmdoshė!
Duke u nisur nga ky parim, Othman Ibn EbilAs Eth-Thekafij porosit djemt e tij qė ti zgjedhin bashkėshortet dhe ti largohen derės sė keqe. Ja dhe fjalėt e tij:
"O bir! I martuari ėshtė mbjellės, pra le tė shikojė njeriu ku e mbjell faren e tij, sepse gjaku i keq shumė pak lind, atėherė zgjedhni, edhe nė rast se zgjatet ajo (martesa).
Pėr tė vėrtetuar kėto fjalė, ja pėrgjigjja e Omer El-Farukit (Zoti qoftė i kėnaqur me tė) kur e pyet njėri prej fėmijėve tė tij se ēfarė detyre ka prindi ndaj fėmijės sė vet:
"Tė zgjedhė nėnė fėmijėsh, ta pagėzojė me emėr tė mirė fėmijėn dhe tia mėsojė Kuranin".
Pėr ata qė duan tė martohen ska rrugėdalje tjetėr, pėrveē se ti zgjedhin bashkėshortet e mira e me prejardhje tė mirė qė kėshtu nė martesė tė jenė tė lumtur dhe tė kenė familje tė pastėr, pasardhės dhe besimtarė tė mirė.
Martesa me tė huajėn (atė qė se kemi fis):
Prej udhėzimeve tė urta Islame nė zgjedhjen e bashkėshortes, ėshtė edhe dhėnia pėrparėsi martesės sa mė larg fisit, qė tė mos ketė rrezik fėmija tė jetė me tė meta psiko-fizike, me sėmundje ngjitėse e tė trashėgueshme si dhe pėr tu zgjeruar lidhjet shoqėrore. Nė kėtė martesė gjendet forca, bashkimi mes myslimanėve ėshtė mė i qėndrueshėm kurse njohja e tyre zgjerohet.
Prandaj nuk duhet tė ēuditemi kur hasim thėniet e Muhammedit a.s.ku na e tėrheq vėrejtjen pėr martesėn me tė afėrmit, se fėmija mund tė rritet i dobėt, se tė metat e tyre mund tė trashėgohen, si:
"Mos u martoni me tė afėrmit se fėmija lind me tė meta psiko-fizike (tė meta mendore e trupore)", ose "Largohuni tė afėrmve qė fėmijėt tė mos lindin me tė meta psiko-fizike".
Kėtė e vėrteton shkenca e gjenetikės ku thuhet se: "Martesa me tė afėrmit lind fėmijė me tė meta mendore dhe trupore, trashėgon cilėsi tė kėqija morale dhe trdita shoqėrore tė shėmtuara".
Kėtė zbulim Muhammedi a.s. e ka vėnė nė pah 14 shekuj para se ta thotė shkenca fjalėn e saj. Me tė vėrtetė All-llahu xh.sh ėshtė i drejtė kur thotė:
"Dhe ai (Pejgamberi) nuk flet nga mendja e tij. Ai (Kurani) nuk ėshtė tjetėr, pos shpallje qė i shpallet". (En-Nexhm, 3-4)
Pėrparėsia nė martesė me beqare:
Prej udhėzimeve tė tjera tė urta Islame rreth zgjedhjes sė bashkėshortes ėshtė edhe pėrparėsia e martesės me beqaren. Kjo gjė lidhet me disa tė mira dhe vlera tė mėdha!
Kėto vlera janė:
Mbrojtja e familjes nga prishja dhe pėrēarja e jetės bashkėshortore, gjė qė njėherit ėshtė edhe pėrforcim i lidhjeve tė dashurisė bashkėshortore, sepse beqarja ėshtė besnike, e sinqertė dhe e dashuron personin, i cili do ta marrė nė mbrojtje. Me tė vejėn ndodh e kundėrta, ajo nuk mund tė pėrshtatet, tė dashurohet dhe tė lidhet shpirtėrisht me bashkėshortin e dytė qė dallon nga i pari. Sjellja e bashkėshortit tė parė ndryshon nga sjellja e bashkėshortit tė dytė.
Lidhur me kėtė po japim sqrimet, tė cilat Aishja (Zoti qoftė i kėnaqur me tė ) i thotė gjatė bisedės me Muhammedin a.s.
"O i dėrguari i All-llahut! Si thua ti, nėse nė njė luginė, has njė dru prej tė cilit dikush ka ngrėnė dhe njė dru tjetėr prej tė cilit nuk ka ngrėnė kush, prej cilit dru do tė hanin devetė tuaja?"
Muhammedi a.s.tha:
"Natyrisht, prej drurit qė nuk ka ngrėnė kush". Atėherė Aishja tha: "Pra, unė jam ajo". (Transmeton Buhariu)
Me kėtė ajo ka pasur pėr qėllim tė tregojė vlerėn e saj prej grave tė tjera. (Kini prasysh se Muhammedi a.s. sėshtė martuar me asnjė beqare tjetėr pėrveē asaj).
Cėshtė e vėrteta, Muhammedi a.s. pėrmend edhe disa dobi tė tjera nga martesa me beqare, kur thotė:
"Martohuni me beqare se ato janė gojėėmbla (fjalėmira), limndin mė tepėr, rastet e tradhėtisė bashkėshortore janė mė tė rradha dhe pajtohen me kushtet minimale tė jetesės". (Transmeton Ibnu Maxhe dhe Bejhekiu)
Po ashtu Muhammedi a.s. i tregon Xhabirit (Zoti qoftė i kėnaqur me tė) se martesa me beqare e lind dashurinė dhe e pėrforcon anėn e mbrojtjes dhe tė pastėrtisė
Transmeton Buhariu dhe Muslimi se Muhammedi a.s., duke u kthyer nga lufta "Dhatu Er-Rikaė", Xhabirit i ka thėnė:
"O Xhabir! A je martuar?"
Xhabiri iu pėrgjigj:
"Po, o i dėrguari i All-llahut"
Muhammedi a.s.tha:
"Me vejushė apo beqare"
Xhabiri tha:
"Jo, por vejushė"
Muhammedi a.s. tha:
"A su martove me njė beqare, me tė cilėn do tė pėrkėdheleshit tė dy?"
Xhabiri tha:
"O i dėrguari i All-llahut, babai im vdiē nė luftėn e Uhudit dhe la pas shtatė motra. U martova me njė grua amvisė dhe me pėrvojė qė tė kujdeset pėr to!"
Muhammedi a.s. tha:
"Inshaall-llah ia ke qėlluar".
Hadithi i Xhabirit aludon nė atė se martesa me vejushėn ėshtė mė mirė se me beqaren, nė disa raste pėr tu plotėsuar bashkėpunimi, siē ėshtė rasti i lartpėrmendur. Me kėtė vėrtetohet fjala e All-llahut xhel-leshanuhu:
"Ndihmohuni mes vete, me tė mira dhe nė tė mbara " (El-Maide, 2)
Pėrparėsia nė martesė me femrėn qė lind.
Prej udhėzimeve tė Islamit nė zgjedhjen e bashkėshortes, ėshtė zgjedhja e njė femre qė lind. Femra e tillė njihet me anė tė dy gjėrave:
E para: Tė mos e ketė trupin tė prekur nga sėmundjet qė ndalojnė shtatzėninė. Pėr ta ditur kėtė gjė duhet konsultuar me specialistėt e gjinekologisė.
E dyta: Tė merret parasysh gjendja e nėnės dhe motrave tė saj tė martuara nė aspektin e lindjes, sepse nė qoftė se janė nga ato qė lindin, ka mė shumė gjasa qė ajo tė lindė.
Edhe shkencėrisht ėshtė vėrtetuar se femra qė lind ėshtė me trup dhe shėndet tė mirė Njė femėr e kėtillė ka mundėsi ti kryejė punėt shtėpiake, kėrkesat edukative dhe detyrimet e bashkėshortėsisė nė mėnyrė mė tė pėrpiktė
Duhet cekur se ai qė vlerėson se ka mundėsi ti kryejė detyrat e tij edukative ndaj fėmijėve nė njė mėnyrė mė tė pėrsosur, atėhere ska rrugėdalje tjetėr nė qoftė se do tė martohet pėrveē se tė kėrkojė njė grua qė lind, qė kėshtu tė shtohet ummeti i Muhammedi a.s. , i cili ka ardhur pėr tė mirėn e njerėzisė
Ja edhe njė udhėzim i Muhammedit a.s.tek i cili erdhi njė njeri dhe i tha:
"O i dėrguari i All-llahut! Unė e dua njė femėr me famė dhe pasanike, por ajo nuk lind. Atė martohem me tė?" Muhammedi a.s. nuk e lejoi qė tė martohet me tė.
Ai erdhi pėrsėri dhe ia tha tė njėjtat fjalė, kur erdhi pėr herė tė tretė, Muhammedi a.s. i tha:
"Martohuni me ato qė lindin dhe qė janė tė dashura (te burrat e vet), se unė do tė mburrem me numrin tuaj tė madh ndaj ummeteve tė tjera". (Transmeton Ebu Davudi, Nesaiu dhe Hakimi)
Duhet marrė parasysh shėndetin trupor.
Pėr tė qenė martesa nė harmoni dhe fryt i njė familjeje tė fortė dhe tė shėndoshė, Islami porositė qė pėr bashkėshorte tė zgjedhet femra e shėndoshė psiko-fizikisht. Islami u jep tė drejtėn e ndrjes, nė qoftė se njėri prej bashkėshortėve ėshtė i sėmurė dhe nuk mund ti kryejė punėt intime bashkėshortore.
Muhammedi a.s. thotė:
" Largohu prej atij qė ėshtė i sėmurė nga lepra, ashtu siē ik prej luanit". (Transmeton Buhariu)
"Tė mos shkojė i sėmuri (me sėmundje ngjitėse) tek i shėndoshi " (Transmeton Buhariu)
Kėto janė rregullat mė tė rėndėsishme pėr mirėzgjedhjen e bashkėshortes dhe tė bashkėshortit .
Pra, Islami e pėrcakton bėrthamėn e parė tė familjes me anė tė martesės sepse ajo bėhet mbi baza tė forta dhe rregulla tė forta dhe rregulla praktike e tė shėndosha nė zgjedhjen e bashkėshortes. Prej atyre mė tė rėndėsishme janė: zgjedhja e bashkėshortes me baza fetare, me prejardhje fisnike dhe me nder familjar, dhėnia e pėrparėsisė martesės me beqare etj.
Kur ta dijė muslimani se prej ku duhet tė fillojė pėr formimin e familjes myslimane, pasardhėsve dhe gjeneratės qė beson nė All-llahun xh.sh atėherė atij i lehtėsohen barret me tė cilat ėshtė i ngarkuar, nė shikimin e tij ėshtė i lehtė ēdo hap qė e merr nė edukimin e fėmijės sė tij.
Madje do tė jetė i suksesshėm edhe nė formimin e familjes dhe ardhmėrisė sė saj
Pėrse?
Pėr shkak se ai e ka sjellė nė shtėpi gurthemelin, mbi tė cilin do tė vihen shtyllat e njė edukimi tė fortė, bazat e njė morali shoqėror dhe shenjat e njė shoqėrie e tė vlefshme
Pra, ajo ėshtė gruaja e sinqertė dhe e mirė!
KJO TEME ESHTE POSTUAR EDHE ME PERPARA
TE TERA PERGJIGJET JANE DHENE ATY
Tema te tilla "Feja Islame dhe martesa brenda fisit" nuk jane fare korrekte, kur flitet per fe flitet dhe per ligjet dhe rregullat e saj. Nga shkrimet e meparshme duket shume qarte qe Martesa brenda fisit eshte nje tradite Arabe, dhe ne fene Islame ka rregulla te percaktuara persa i perket kesaj, rregulla qe ndryshojne nga kjo tradite. Hadithi i Profetit Muhamed a.s. eshte vule persa i perket kesaj ceshtje.
Mendoj se temes duhet ti ndryshohet titulli ne: " Tradita Arabe dhe martesa brenda fisit", keshtu i shmangemi trillimeve te kota (megjithese mund te jene bere nga padija)
Fen e ke krejt personale. MEMEDHEUN E KEMI TE PERBASHKET.
Armando, duhet qe te te pelqejne frutat e nje peme qe ta marresh e mbjellesh ne pragun e shtepise tende. Po nuk te pelqyen frutat, askush nuk e merr mundimin te beje dicka te tille.
Albo
E pashe me vonese kete, prandaj edhe me vonese po bej nje koment.
Albo, si gjithmone ti permend frutat, por si gjithmone kur permend frutat, bie prej e asaj qe e thua vete. Dikund me thoshe se madheshtia e Perendise varet nga mireqenia e popujve qe besojne ne te, dhe si pasqyre me jipje boten perendimore, per te cilen me te drejte mund te thuash se eshte e zhvilluar dhe e perparuar.
Por, ti harroje se popujte qe besonin po ate Perendi diku ne Azi e Afrike, vuanin nga skamja, lufta, korrupsioni etj. Dmth qe, pema nuk jep gjithmone fruta te njejta. Pastaj pema ka edhe stinet e veta, ka dhe periudhat, dhe nese hyjme thelle ne historine e pemes, e verejme se rrenjet e saj jane plot gjak, rrenjet e pemes jane plot koloni, skllever, roberi, pushtim, masakra.
C'na tha pema? Ku jane frutat?
Po prape, ne ate qe citova ne fillim te ketij shkrimi, ti permend frutat. Dhe prape bie pre e asaj qe e thua. Ti thua se po nuk te pelqyen frutat, s'ke pse te interesohesh per pemen. Une do thosha se perderisa nuk interesohesh/emi per pemen, as frutat s'kane si te jene te mira. Ti do thuash se pema nuk eshte e jotja dhe nuk je ti ai qe duhet te interesohet, por me kete fjali ja merr vetes edhe te drejten e komentimin mbi ate peme, se meqe nuk eshte e jotja, nuk ke as te drejte te komentosh mbi te, mire apo keq. Ate te drejte, ka vetem pronari simbas parimit, qe po prape ti ke reklamuar "vetem ata qe i takojne ketij komuniteti, i dijne punet e ketij komuniteti". Po keshtu ndodh edhe me kete pemen tone, frutat e se ciles, sic duket, nuk te pelqejne ty.
As mua s'me pelqen kanceri, por fatkeqesisht koheve te fundit u desh te lexoja goxha disa libra mbi te. As lufta nuk me pelqen, por perjetova nje te tille, dhe lexova disa libra e mesova edhe per luftera te mehershme dhe per arsyet e luftes se asokohshme. As vdekja s'me pelqen, por kam filluar te mendoj per te dhe t'i bej disa hesape e kalkulime ekonomike, shoqerore dhe familjare.
Te gjithe ne kemi disa gjera frutat e te cilave s'na pelqejne, por kjo s'dmth se duhet te jemi indiferent ndaj tyre. Shembujt qe dhashe me lart, nuk duhen assesi te intepretohen si paralele mes pemes dhe te zezave qe i listova.
Kur cdonjeri han frutat e pemes se vet, pa u marre me pemen e tjetrit, te githe do jemi te qete. Perderisa pretendojme se "pema ime ka frutat me te mire, e pema jote jep fruta te keqija", do jemi aty prej nga fillojme ne jete: pika konstante 0.
... dhe me e teperta qe do te arrijme te bejme, eshte t'i kemi disa biseda jo shume interesante, mbi pemet, frutat, dhe rrenjet e tyre.
O Albo pse hap tema te mbyllura (apo do t'i degjosh pergjigjet disa here)???
Ne fene islame cdo gje eshte e sqaruar teper mire, brenda kuranit ose nga veprat e profetit, ne kundershtim me fete e tjera ku cdokush mund te veje doren e vet per zgjidhjen e nje problemi.
Saper martesen, behet fjale ne suren Nisae, ku thuhet se nje muslimani i ndalohet martesa me nenen e tij, motren e tij, bijen e tij, nenen e qumshit, motren e qumshit, tezen, hallen, mbesen etj. te gjitha femrat qe nuk hyne ne keto kategori jane te ndaluara per muslimanin. Nga ketu behet e qarte se muslimanit i lejohet te martohet me gocen e xhajes,dajes,tezes ose halles. Por profeti Muhamed i keshillon muslimanet te matohen sa me larg gjakut.
VJen pyetja.... Islami e lejon martesen me kushuriren e pare, cila fe e ndalon nje gje te tille???
A e dini qe ne boten krishtere kemi shembull martese"nene e djal"?
Nese nuk e di kerko pak te Historia bizantine e shek. te 10, me ke u martua perandoresha Athina????
Per ata qe nuk e dine, afer vitit 1000 m.K. kur ne Bizant feja ortodokse ishte e vetmja fe e ligjshme dhe ligjet e Bizantit bazoheshin ne Dhijaten e Vjeter, perandoresha Irini Athinaia (dinastia e Isavreve) u martua me djalin e saj Konstandinin qe te mari udheheqjen. Mbase ata te dy nuk paten maredhenje seksuale por martesa e tyre u be e njohur ne tere Bizantin, dhe u ligjerua megjithese keta te dy ishin te krishtere dhe vet shteti ndiqte udhezimet e Ortodoksise.
Albo me ka bere shume pershtypje edhe mua menyra se si islamet martohen ne ate menyre, dhe kuptohet , po te llogjikosh si njeri del qe ato kane tradita shtazarake, por kete dukuri apo tradite e kam shuar ne luksemburg. Eshte vend shume i vogel por shume fetar, ne te dyja anet e rruges, nga do qe te shkosh (brenda shtetit) ke shenja te SHEN MARIES, JEZUESIT... por edhe ketu luksemburgjezet martohen brenda fisit, bile po e theksoj me afer se arabet, kjo te ben te DYSHOSH apo jo ?
Zoti eshte me shume i imagjinuar sesa i shprehur, por ne fakt AI egziston me shume sesa imagjinohet.
Me respekt
it is not a lip or eye we beauty CALL, but joint force and full result of ALL
Regullat e Postimit
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