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  1. #1
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
    Antarsuar
    24-04-2002
    Vendndodhja
    usa
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    Burrat & Grat, martesat ... shakat

    Sekrete martese ...


    Secret tips for making a marriage last...
    My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...

    1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good
    food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

    3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
    So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker.
    Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down !"
    So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the
    carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

    8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight,
    but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

    9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

    10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
    The driver said, "No, jump in!"

  2. #2
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
    Antarsuar
    24-04-2002
    Vendndodhja
    usa
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    586
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    0
    0 falenderime n 0 postime
    Ja c'thone grate per burrat



    Men Are Like...

    Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

    Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

    Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

    Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

    Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

    Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

    Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

    Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

    Curling Irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

    Government Bonds. They take so long to mature.

    Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

    Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

    Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

    Parking Spots. The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left
    are either handicapped or extremely small.

    Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

  3. #3
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
    Antarsuar
    24-04-2002
    Vendndodhja
    usa
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    586
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    Female Stages of Life


    AGE DRINK

    17 y. old - Wine Coolers
    25 - White wine
    35 - Red wine
    48 - Dom Perignon
    66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

    EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

    17 - Need to wash my hair
    25 - Need to wash and condition my hair
    35 - Need to colour my hair
    48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair
    66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig

    FAVORITE SPORT

    17 - shopping
    25 - shopping
    35 - shopping
    48 - shopping
    66 - shopping

    DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

    17 - "Burger King"
    25 - "Free meal"
    35 - "A diamond"
    48 - "A bigger diamond"
    66 - "Home Alone"

    FAVORITE FANTASY

    17 - tall, dark and handsome
    25 - tall, dark and handsome with money
    35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
    48 - a man with hair
    66 - a man

    HOUSE PET

    17 - Muffy the cat
    25 - Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
    35 - German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
    48 - Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
    66 - Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat

    WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

    17 - 17
    25 - 25
    35 - 35
    48 - 48
    66 - 66

    IDEAL DATE

    17 - He offers to pay
    25 - He pays
    35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning
    48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
    66 - He can chew his breakfast


    @@@

  4. #4
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
    Antarsuar
    24-04-2002
    Vendndodhja
    usa
    Postime
    586
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    0 falenderime n 0 postime
    Love, Lust and Marriage


    LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
    LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
    MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.

    LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
    LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
    MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?

    LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
    LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
    MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.

    LOVE - When you share everything you own.
    LUST - When you steal everything they own.
    MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

    LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
    LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
    MARRIAGE - What's a climax?

    LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
    LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
    MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch.

    LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
    LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
    MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

    LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
    LUST - When you couldn't care less
    MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.

    LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..."
    LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."
    MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.

    LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
    LUST - When you only see each other naked.
    MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

    LOVE - When your heart flutters everytime you see them.
    LUST - When your groin twitches everytime you see them.
    MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties everytime you see them.

    LOVE - When nobody else matters.
    LUST - When nobody else knows.
    MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

    LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
    LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
    MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.

    LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
    LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
    MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought.

    LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
    LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
    MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.


    ...

  5. #5
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
    Antarsuar
    24-04-2002
    Vendndodhja
    usa
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    Talking

    hmmm

    A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT A FEW RANDOM THINGS... FROM A WOMAN PICKED AT RANDOM...

    1) Skinny people piss me off. Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. In that case, you don't deserve to eat.

    2) I'm Catholic. My mother and I were unpacking and she found my diaphragm. I had to tell her it was a bathing cap for my cat.

    3) How many of you have started dating someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

    4) They say you shouldn't say anything about the dead, unless it's good. He's dead. Good.

    5) A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills - she had 14 kids, but she didn't give a shit

    6) Now they're advertising breathable panty liners. You know some man invented that product. No woman would be inventing a panty liner and putting little holes in there. She'd put little tongues in there.

    7) They kept telling us we had to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it on a Tuesday morning when I genially proposed, "Body, how'd you like to go to the nine o'clock class in vigorous toning with resistence?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen, bitch, do it and you die."

    8) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.

    9) Gay, straight...they all want blow jobs.

    10) The way I look at it, if the kids are still alive when my husband comes home from work, then I've done my job.

    11) My doctor said "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is you don't have PMS. The bad news is - you're a bitch!"

    12) I read this article. It said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? This is my idea of a perfect day!

    13) I'll tell you what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody that's 34 inches or 34 years can fit into that shit.

    14) Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."

    Sa kerkon e sa te duhen?
    Burrat nga detyra s'druhen,
    trimi i mire do t'te jape,
    Sot me vrap e neser prape.
    Hidhni, hidhni tok dollare,
    te mos mbetemi te share.

    Mbahu nene mos ki frike,
    Se ke djemte ne Amerike.

    Bijte e beses Skenderbeut,
    qe i dalin zot atdheut!

    Do te ndihim pa kursyer,
    per ty, nena jone e vyer,
    qe me drit' e nder te thuresh,
    dhe me bijt' e tu te mburresh.
    - Fan Noli -

Tema t Ngjashme

  1. T drejtat e gruas n nj kndvshtrim global
    Nga Lioness n forumin Problemet ndrkombtare
    Prgjigje: 171
    Postimi i Fundit: 25-03-2013, 10:30
  2. Gallat: Mendimet shoviniste Grash Per Burrat!
    Nga ||_BeJbi_|| n forumin Humor shqiptar
    Prgjigje: 16
    Postimi i Fundit: 25-11-2008, 19:14
  3. Grat punojn si burrat, paguhen m pak!
    Nga Davius n forumin Tema shoqrore
    Prgjigje: 0
    Postimi i Fundit: 28-10-2005, 11:07
  4. ca mendime per burrat e grate
    Nga FLOWER n forumin Humor shqiptar
    Prgjigje: 0
    Postimi i Fundit: 31-10-2004, 13:45

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