> A man was working on his motorcycle on the
patio, his wife nearby in the
> kitchen. While racing the engine, the
motorcycle accidentally slipped
> into gear. The man, still holding onto the
handlebars, was dragged along
> as it burst through the glass patio doors.
>
> His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to
find her husband cut and
> bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered
patio door. She called for an
> ambulance and, because the house sat on a
fairly large hill, went down
> the several flights of stairs to meet the
paramedics and escort them to
> her husband.
>
> While the attendants were loading her husband,
the wife managed to right
> the motorcycle and push it outside. She also
quickly blotted up the
> spilled gasoline with some paper towels and
tossed them into the toilet.
>
> After being treated and released, the man
returned home, looked at the
> shattered patio door and the damage done to his
motorcycle. He went into
> the bathroom and consoled himself with a
cigarette while attending to his
> business. About to stand, he flipped the butt
between his legs.
>
> The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud
explosion and her husband
> screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom
floor with his trousers
> blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and
groin, she
> once again phoned for an ambulance. The same
paramedic crew was
> dispatched.
>
> As the paramedics carried the man down the
stairs to the ambulance they
> asked the wife how he had come to burn himself.
She told them.
> They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the
stretcher and dumping the
> husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs,
breaking his arm.
> ______________________________________________
> Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could
be worse...
>
> The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after
the Exxon Valdez oil
> spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special
ceremony, two of the most
> expensively saved animals were being released
back into the wild amid
> cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute
later, in full view, a
> killer whale ate them both.
> _____________________________________________
> Still think you are having a bad day?
>
> A woman came home to find her husband in the
kitchen shaking frantically,
> almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of
wire running from his waist
> towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt
him away from the deadly
> current, she whacked him with a handy
> plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had
> been happily listening to his Walkman.
> _______________________________________________
> STILL think you're having a bad day?
>
> Two animal rights protesters were protesting at
the cruelty of sending
> pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.
Suddenly, all two thousand
> pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
fence, stampeding madly The
> two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
> ____________________________________________
>
> What?! STILL having a bad day??
>
> Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough
postage on a letter bomb.
> It came back with "return to sender" stamped on
it. Forgetting it was the
> bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. There
now, feeling better?
FUNERAL
A funeral service is being held for a woman who
has just passed away. At
the end of the service the pall bearers are
carrying the casket out when
they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the
casket. They hear a faint
moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is actually alive! She
lives for ten more years, and then finally dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same place, and
at the end of the ceremony
the pall bearers are again carrying out the
casket. As they are walking,
the husband cries out, "Watch the wall!"
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