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Duke shfaqur rezultatin 21 deri 30 prej 30
  1. #21
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
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    Historia e Shen Valentinit

    Ancient Times:
    The beginnings of the holiday started with a dissident tribe of pagans, later identified as a band of Republican Presidential Candidates. At that time Hallmark cards were not able to use the modern techniques of printing such as inkjets and lasers. Instead the company used the blood of goats of dogs as primitive forms of ink. To keep the locals unsuspicious of their capitalistic exploitation of the holiday they presented the dead animals as a sacrifice to Lupercalia. Also the origins of dominatrix and sadomasochism are seen at this time when young men would use the hides to whip the infertile women of the town asking them 'Who's yo' daddy?'

    Christianity:
    Now, let the pagans have their uncivilized fun and festivals, and who has to come along and ruin it? First, it was PETA blowing the whistle on animal cruelty. Then it was the early Roman Catholic Church, who was jealous that the most exciting holiday on their calendar was forty days of giving something up. So, they adopted the holiday to have wild parties. They gave the holiday the new name of St. Valentine's Day. Saint Valentint performed secret marriages and was known in certain Bishops' circles as a master of Kama Sutra. Later, he was sentenced to death for some oppressive reason. Before his death he sent his lover a WallMart Dilbert Card ($2.85) signed 'Your Valentine.'

    Medieval:
    In medieval Europe, the people believed that the 14th of February was the day that birds selected their mates. Hence the term 'lovebirds.' Wow, they sure were clever. They couldn't figure out how to cook meat, but they had time to think up witty phrases like, lovebirds. The first card was officially sent at this time, a Hallmark fold out, ($3.50) from a prisoner in France. The card was actually a cryptic message plotting his escape. Unfortunately, the wife was flattered by the message of love and ignored the plan. Later her husband was beheaded.

    Victorian:
    Everything was mass-produced, and materialism killed the spirit of the holiday. Oh the joys of the Industrial Revolution. It turned the world into faceless masses, inspiring Ayn Rand novels, and in turn inspiring lots of college kids not to pursue a major in English.

    Modern:
    Today children and lovers celebrate the holiday together. Children give candy hearts either for the sugar high or a peck on the cheek behind Mrs. Weidlemeyer's classroom. On the other hand, lovers exchange chocolate hearts. They become disillusioned, thinking that on that night, instead of performing the act of sex, they will delve into the art of making love. Lovers fill every restaurant in town, leaving singles to make reservations even at the drive-thru line at McDonalds.


    ----&---@

  2. #22
    i larguar Maska e glaukus 001
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    Seven Ages of the Married Cold

    1st year: The husband says, 'Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from China Garden. I've already arranged it with the head nurse.'

    2nd year: 'Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?'

    3rd year: 'Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I'll bring you something--do we have any canned soup around here?'

    4th year: 'No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!'

    5th year: 'Why don't you take a couple aspirin?'

    6th year: 'You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!'

    7th year: 'For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store.'


    -----------
    welcome to the real world..

  3. #23
    Perjashtuar Maska e Prototype
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    Ja dhe ca nga disa miq


    *SEX IS A SENSATION CAUSED BY TEMPTATION WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS LOCATION IN A WOMANS DESTINATION DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE EXPLANATION OR WOULD YOU LIKE A DEMONSTRATION?



    *Last night, I needed u so badly, I wanted 2 taste you, I wanted you in me so you could work your powers on me but i couldn't find you
    Mr. PARACETAMOL!!


    *Message from your operator:
    your vibrator disturbs our network. Please, get your climax as quickly as you can or go on by hand. In anticipation; Thanks!



    po e le me kaq sot se me mbaruan bytet e kompjuterit ..........

  4. #24
    SiMp^tIkJa Maska e Enkela B.
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    THE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND TEST
    1. Pick your favorite color out of the following:
    A. Red
    B. Orange
    C. Yellow
    D. Green
    E. Blue
    F. Purple

    2. Pick your favorite animal out of the following:
    A. Cat
    B. Dog
    C. Fish
    D. Snake
    E. Parrot
    F. Mouse

    3. Pick your desired honeymoon spot:
    A. Hawaii
    B. New York
    C. East Africa
    D. Spain
    E. Montana

    4. Pick your favorite instrument:
    A. Violin
    B. Piano
    C. Electric Guitar
    D. Drums

    5. Pick your favorite soft drink:
    A. Dr. Pepper
    B. Sprite
    C. Coca Cola,
    D. Pepsi,
    E. Mountain Dew.
    > >*
    HERE ARE THE ANSWERS!
    Question number ONE:
    A. Red - Adventerous
    B. Orange - Fun
    C. Yellow - Sweet
    D. Green - Wacky
    E. Blue - Romantic
    F. Purple - Mysterious
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Question number TWO:
    A. Cat - Feminine
    B. Dog - Loving
    C. Fish - Boring
    D. Snake - Boyish
    E. Parrot - Annoying
    F. Mouse - Brainy
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Question number THREE:
    A. Hawaii - Romantic
    B. New York - Busy
    C. East Africa - Curious
    D. Spain - Mysterious
    E. Montana - Country Girl/Boy
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Question number FOUR:
    A. Violin - Intellectual
    B. Piano - Popular
    C. Electric Guitar - Wacky
    D. Drums - Wild
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Question number FIVE:
    A. Dr. Pepper - Popular
    B. Sprite - Wacky
    C. Coca Cola - Wild
    D. Pepsi - Fun
    E. Mountain Dew - Athletic
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  5. #25
    SiMp^tIkJa Maska e Enkela B.
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    this is what pakis think!
    Heaven is when you have:
    An American Salary
    An English Home
    A Chinese Food
    A Swiss Economy
    A Italian Body
    A Japanese Technology
    An African Tool
    and An Indian Wife

    Hell is when you have:
    An American Wife
    An English Body
    A Chinese Tool
    A Swiss Food
    A Italian Technology
    A Japanese Home
    An African Economy
    and An Indian Salary

  6. #26
    Perjashtuar
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    Citim Postuar mė parė nga glaukus 001 Lexo Postimin
    Professor Of Mathematics

    A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
    "Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"


    When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:


    "Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
    Ahahaha...very funny !

  7. #27
    Perjashtuar
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    Citim Postuar mė parė nga Enkela B. Lexo Postimin
    this is what pakis think!
    Heaven is when you have:
    An American Salary
    An English Home
    A Chinese Food
    A Swiss Economy
    A Italian Body
    A Japanese Technology
    An African Tool
    and An Indian Wife

    Hell is when you have:
    An American Wife
    An English Body
    A Chinese Tool
    A Swiss Food
    A Italian Technology
    A Japanese Home
    An African Economy
    and An Indian Salary
    Sa kam qeshur !

  8. #28
    Perjashtuar
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    Citim Postuar mė parė nga Prototype Lexo Postimin


    *SEX IS A SENSATION CAUSED BY TEMPTATION WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS LOCATION IN A WOMANS DESTINATION DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE EXPLANATION OR WOULD YOU LIKE A DEMONSTRATION?

    ..........
    The best thing I've ever heard !

  9. #29
    【 Untouchable 】 ๓๏đ Maska e Deni_Boy
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    Ka munci me fol shqip lale.. pasi jemi ne nje forum shqiptar jo amerikan....!

    Me respekt,

    Deni_Boy
    Bordi Drejtues - Forumi Shqiptar

  10. #30
    Perjashtuar
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    Citim Postuar mė parė nga Deni_Boy Lexo Postimin
    Ka munci me fol shqip lale.. pasi jemi ne nje forum shqiptar jo amerikan....!

    Me respekt,

    Deni_Boy
    Hey Deni boy !

    Mos harro se majmuni po te mos evolonte prape majmun do ngelej . Cfare kerkoni ju eshte njesoj sikur sikur te vendosesh nje makine ne fund te spiralit dhe t'i japesh xhirim dhe te kerkosh te kuptosh me vone arsyen pse u rrotullua (!)

    Njeriu tranformohet , gjuha eshte qelize e gjalle dhe merr format perkatese te ketij ambjenti ku jeton . Do vije dita qe do krijohet nje gjuhe nderlineare , alien-like dhe duke i bashka ngjitur edhe language-sign do perdoret dhe asimilohet nga te gjithe .

    Une qe sot e kam quajtur Gypsy-Language !

    Mbaj mend qe kur kam ardhur ne Kanada per here te pare kam pas njohur nje grua ruse - Maria . Ajo fliste vetem rusisht (God forgive me , I hate that language)- ndersa une flisja vetem shqip dhe greqisht . Mbanim nje bisede te plote , duke e kuptuar njera-tjetren per mrekulli . Me kembe , me duar , me signs , me mimike , me gjuhe romane (arixhishte) - cdo gje gjeje aty - por asgje nuk na pengonte biseden tone . Me vone shoqja ime e ngushte ishte e huaj . Vetem te na degjosh ! - Ah , more Viola...- me thote ne shqip dhe une ja kthej ne cfaredo gjuhe qe me vjen per momentin...

    Ma do mendja se kupton se ku dua te dal . Sic e ka thene Darvini - Jeta eshte nje spiral , qe cdo shkalle i ngjan te kaluares , por eshte nje shkalle me larte !

    Hej , se mos marr vesh qe di ndonje gjuhe me shume se atehere i ziu ti c'do degjosh nga goja ime... ahahaha . Do mundohem te flas edhe gjuhen tendeeeeeeeee ... Careful ! Joking !

Faqja 2 prej 2 FillimFillim 12

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